


Mr. Lone Wolf

by elar3716



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Boys In Love, College, Depression, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Keith/Lance (Voltron), Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gay, Gay Disaster Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Male Character, Gay Panic, Help, Hugs, I Tried, Idiots in Love, Insomnia, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Sad, Sex, Students, Touch-Starved, Touching, Unrequited Love, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:28:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 40,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28546368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elar3716/pseuds/elar3716
Summary: What would happen in an AU where Keith never had anyone? Almost ever? At least, for a long time until someone unexpectedly helps him through the worst kind of loneliness Keith has ever experienced during the pandemic.
Relationships: Allura & Keith (Voltron), Hunk & Keith (Voltron), Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 185





	1. Sad and Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is all alone in this world.

Keith, during these times of crisis, always thought that "quarantine" was essentially his lifestyle. Except, a little less lenient. The "lone wolf" figured he would be perfectly fine being alone for the time it would take for a vaccine to get out, or at least one he trusted enough. 

Keith was a college student, struggling like almost every other student, just trying to figure his life out. Because that was the thing; he didn't know what he wanted to be. 

_"What do you want to be when you grow up?"_

Keith never had anyone, or at least after his father died, he had no one. His mother left them when he was practically born. He never knew where she went, his father telling him something cryptic with a sad look in his eyes. But he could tell she didn't leave because she hated either of them. No, he could tell it was quite the opposite. 

_But where was she?_

Keith wondered if she was alright during the pandemic and when it first started. He wanted to search for her, see if she had a new family. Or if she was happy being all alone. Keith hoped it wasn't the latter. 

He was lonely. 

"Mr. Lone Wolf," as one guy he met in his English class in high school had muttered. 

Lance. His name was Lance. The high school crush, Lance. The Lance that always thought they were rivals in his head, which always confused Keith. But it amused him as well. Keith wasn't going places like his crush was. He wasted that potential when he procrastinated on what he wanted to do with his life. 

Keith's graduation ceremony wasn't supposed to be depressing, but he couldn't help but feel that way. No one to see him get his regular diploma except all the people that didn't know him at all. But what did help his mood, just a little bit, was when he heard that Lance was on his way to a great college. He made it into the school that he wanted. 

Keith was genuinely happy for him. Never petty or jealous. His heart swelled that day, looking at Lance just a few feet away, laughing with his two best friends, honors diploma under his arm. 

Lance was perfect, at least to Keith. It was why he liked him so much. Even though his crush stuck with his two best friends, Hunk and Pidge, Lance could be charismatic with most people. He could get along with almost anyone, it seemed. Or the very least, everyone except Keith. 

Keith never understood why Lance thought they were rivals, neck and neck, fighting for... something. He didn't know what it was. It wasn't for grades, it wasn't even for the same college, and it wasn't for any reason that Keith could remember. 

Either way, he never said what he felt about him. Not to him, and certainly not to anyone. 

Again, "lone wolf."

...

Keith felt something warm in his eyes, the swelling of tears. His face began to burn as his heart broke for no reason at all. Or if there was one, he refused to think about it any longer. He felt the all too familiar pit in his stomach and the lump in his throat as he choked out a pained sob. 

He was in no physical pain, but it might as well have been for the way he fell onto his knees like they gave out on him. Suddenly too weak to stand. His chest was tight as he tried not to cry because he wasn't like this at all. 

Or he convinced himself that. 

But how could he keep doing that every single night? What was wrong with him? 

There was no reason to cry. Keith wasn't in any pain, aside from the ache he felt in his chest. 

Is it because he feels _sad._

_Sad about what?_

No, he didn't want to think about it.

_Sad about how you don't know what you're doing with yourself?_

No.

_Sad about how everyone else moved on and had the brightest futures ahead of them?_

No... 

_Sad about how you're scared of what the future is for you? Sad about how you will never become anything? Sad about how you can't figure out how to answer a simple question?!_

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" the young man asked. Keith was young, perhaps middle school around the time. 

The man before him made him feel just a little smaller. He was exceptional. He was an achiever. Some would say an overachiever, but to Keith, he was... something like a threat. His warm smile and focused gaze was threatening to Keith for some reason. No, maybe it was the question he asked him? 

"How am I supposed to know?" 

The man hummed, giving Keith an amused smile. "Good question." 

"Clearly not as good as yours..." Keith muttered, glanced back to his chafed knuckles. He never liked fighting, but they asked for it that day. 

"You could be anything you ever wanted to be," the man said, taking a seat at the cafeteria lunch table, right across from Keith. 

He's heard of that before. 

_Anything... Right..._

Maybe it was that kind of thinking that got him where he was. Bent over on the floor of his dorm, crying into his arm like he was saying goodbye to everyone he loved for the last time. 

But he didn't have anyone. He knew that it was his fault. 

All his fault. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you if you read.


	2. Awake and Confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter break can be difficult for some people.

Keith's mind was hazy as he slowly realized that he was awake, in his bed, not wanting to be at all. He genuinely loved sleep and rarely ever got enough of it because of those crying episodes he'd have every single night. At that point, it had become a part of his routine. 

He didn't exactly remember when it started, but he was so tired of it. Even though he was used to it, it still wore him down every time. It made his chest just a little bit heavier, his mind a little more cynical. Each day was always building up to a precipice. The precipice being the point where he'd sob and whimper either on his bed or on the floor. Honestly, neither felt better than the other at that moment. Neither offered any comfort to him. 

He was still alone. In between his scratchy sheets, gradually still rousing from his sleepy state to full consciousness. He never wanted to wake up, not only because he felt exhausted from the night before, but also because it was just better that way. At least, for him, it was. 

But even so, he cracked open his eyes, glaring at the sheer curtains of his sparse dorm. It was a cloudy day, lucky for him. But the sun still had to peek through the clouds, seemingly to greet a drained college student in his bed. 

Keith took a deep breath, like he always did, every morning. It helped him from dipping back into the sadness from the night before, helped him get through the process of waking and getting ready for the day. 

Oh, but wait. 

He furrowed his brows and tiredly lifted his dark eyes to the calendar that hang on the wall, the only thing that Keith ever bothered to put up.

Ah, he was right. 

It was the start of winter break. In his fit of waking up, he tended to forget simple things like that so easily. He forgot about the exams he struggled on. Either that, or he _wanted_ to forget about them. Probably the second option, if he was honest. 

Keith couldn't say he was exactly happy about winter break. Sure, he was glad that the semester was over, and he got a break from school. 

But, the holidays were difficult for him to get through. 

Keith never wanted to be like the Grinch, all negative and hateful about even the thought of Christmas, but he wasn't exactly the most _festive_ of everyone in his school. How could he be? He had no family to celebrate it with, no friends. Keith hadn't had that in such a long time. 

But it was his fault that he was like that. 

All alone. 

If only he'd step out of his bubble. If only he'd forget about his past, move on, and look ahead. To where, he couldn't be sure, but he knew it would be better for him. But if only he'd forget about _him._

Keith gave another heavy sigh and looked at his watch. Well, not _his_ watch. It was his father's. 

And no. Keith didn't have a phone. Keith could barely afford the laptop he was forced to buy for online work. The computer was more important, which was why he didn't have a phone. But even so, if Keith ever found himself in a situation where it was required, the student would give them his dad's phone number. Of course, he would never answer since his phone was dead for years. 

Keith relied on email more or websites to get the information he needed. It was how it was going to be until he saved up enough for a phone of his own. 

He knew it would take a long time to get to that point, but he'd figure it out. He'd have to. 

The student slowly turned in his bed, onto his back. He gave one last deep breath before blinking up at the ceiling, trying not to think about any negative thoughts. Thought that were trying not to rob him of his overcast morning that he wanted to appreciate despite the sun threatening to peek through the clouds.

He didn't know why he was up since work wasn't until the afternoon. 

To pass the time, he used his laptop. He checked his emails, maybe watched a few videos, all while listening to the thuds of his dormmates leaving for the holidays back to their families. 

Good for them.

_Good for them..._

* * *

"Kogane!"

Keith turned from where he was, crouched on the floor of a supermarket. His hands, occupied by canned beans. 

"Yeah?" he asked, his eyes following back to where they were when he realized who it was. It was only his coworker. Well, his superior, but he thought of him as the same level as he was. He was only trying to work hard and get paid. 

"You working on Christmas?" he asked, his voice a little lower than before. 

Keith told him about his situation. Only the bare minimum. He had to, since he was technically the guy who hired him. The supermarket was probably the second-best part-time job in the town he lived. The mall was the first and something that he would've preferred more, but it was far, about a thirty-minute drive to get there. Keith didn't have a car, yet another thing that he was willing to earn. 

"Yes, sir," Keith answered, restocking the shelf of cans with practiced hands. The student's voice sounded _so enthusiastic._

His coworker was a pretty decent guy, and he was used to Keith's attitude. Even though he could be an ass about some things, Keith could also be the same way to him sometimes. Love-hate relationship, kind of.

"Are you sure?" he asked, crossing his arms. "I mean, you could still take the day off. You did the same thing last year. I could-"

"Nope, it's fine. This is the only market open on Christmas here, and you need help with the last-minute shoppers, so... it's fine." Keith answered truthfully. It really was okay because it wasn't like there was anything else for him to do. He couldn't say that he _enjoyed_ working, but it was what he had to do. He _had to._

His coworker only gave a beat of silence before he slowly nodded his head. "Alright then. But just in case you change your mind, email me, understood?" 

"Yeah, no problem." 

The man eyed Keith with _the look._

The student sighed for the umpteenth time that day and muttered, "Yes, sir," under his breath. 

The superior wasn't satisfied with his reply, but he let it go, turning on his heel and walking over to his designated office. 

But unfortunately, that wasn't enough for Keith, and the universe had to throw a customer right at him after the manager just left. 

"Uh... E-excuse me?" 

The voice. 

The voice was what froze Keith's movements completely. Even though it was such a pleasant voice, it felt like it hit him like a truck. 

It was different than what he remembered it being. It was loud, extraverted almost, and always fighting to one up Keith's. 

It was Lance's voice. 

Keith slowly let go of the can he was holding, placing it in its place before turning and lifting his eyes to have his chest nearly explode. The same deep blue eyes that made him hitch his breath in his throat. The same color of short, soft-looking brown hair. The only thing different was the mask he wore to cover his lips. 

Keith wanted to redo what he had did. He shouldn't have turned around, but it was too late. But the raven-haired student already did it before he could even think about it. There was always something about Lance that he couldn't say no to. 

Keith honestly didn't think that he could possibly remember him. After all, how could he? They only ever had arguments in class back then, and from what Keith could remember, Lance didn't seem to like him all that much. Plus, he was wearing a mask.

He was so ready for him to have his heart sink into his chest and to dip into that pit of sadness right then and there. Having Lance not recognize him was something that would hurt him. It wouldn't be Lance's fault, of course. But it would still hurt him. Just a little bit more. 

But even as he braced for impact, he couldn't believe it when he heard his name whispered from his crush. Lance's brows raised, only slightly as he took in the sight of his old classmate, or old "rival." 

How could he remember him? 

_How...?_

"Keith...?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Hopefully, things are looking up for Keith in this fic.


	3. Fortunate and Anxious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, at least they're together again.

"Yeah?" 

After a summer and a whole semester of not seeing Lance, all that Keith could say was one word. He regretted it the second it left his mouth, mostly because it wasn't what he wanted to say at all. A "hi" or "hey" maybe would've sufficed, but it was too late. His voice had no irritation in it like it usually did. If anything, it sounded soft.

Lance stared at Keith for a moment longer before he blinked a few times and broke the stilling eye contact. He cleared his throat and adjusted his coat around him, fidgetting almost. 

"Hey..." he said. The tension was growing more and more awkward for Keith, and he wasn't sure what to say to him other than a mumbled greeting back. But before he could do that, Lance continued, "How have you been? A lot has happened after graduation."

He was asking how Keith's been? 

How does he answer that?

"Um..." he started, mind all of a sudden confused. "I guess I've been okay. What about you?" 

That's when Keith realized that he was crouched on the cold tiled floor, finally finding the strength to stand to meet Lance's gaze. 

"Yeah, it's been fine. Just came back to visit family for Christmas and New Years," Lance explained. "So, you're still here? Living here, I mean?"

Keith was wondering where this conversation could be going, or if it was even going anywhere at all. But despite those thoughts, he was going to take everything from this opportunity. He didn't care if it was uncomfortable catching up with Lance because it was _Lance._ Keith knew that eventually, the ice would break, and it would be less... awkward. 

"Yes. Still here. How are things where, uh... where you went?" 

"It was great. But still, online classes aren't really that interesting. And the classes that require us to be in a lecture, just aren't the same..." 

Ah, Keith understood. Even though Keith could be painfully introverted, he still understood others wanting to have everything back to normal, just like before the pandemic. But it was too bad. It was the world it was, and it was the world everyone had to deal with and get through. 

"I get that... But hopefully, next year will be better," Keith said. 

Then he heard a huff of laughter, small, but it was there. Keith looked at Lance, wishing he could see the smile he loved seeing back in high school. His crush's eyes crinkled and lightened just a bit in amusement. 

"What's this? Keith Kogane being _positive?_ I remember you being a jerk about everything." 

That was true... But he didn't want to be anymore. Not with Lance, at the very least. 

Keith slowly nodded his head, smiling underneath his black mask. "Yeah, but people can change." Well, the only way Keith could do that is if the universe threw the one person he genuinely liked back into his life. Which it did, so unexpectedly. But he knew it would only be for such a short amount of time. 

"Even stubborn Keith can change."

"Why are you talking to me in third person?"

Lance gave a sincere laugh, and Keith's heart couldn't help but do a little flip in response.

"I always used to do that, remember? It'd piss you off."

"Yeah, and it still does, so don't."

"So Keith lied when he said he had changed."

"Are we really doing this?"

Another short but sweet laugh. Keith _sounded_ annoyed, but he wasn't at all. Underneath that hard exterior, he wasn't going to show how profoundly overjoyed he was. Keith wanted to milk this for all it was worth. 

"Anyway, what are you doing this Christmas?" Lance asked. 

Keith's gaze shifted to the remaining cans at his feet, picking up a few and restocking them, thinking. Lance didn't know about Keith's situation or his family. He only knew Keith as the arrogant kid in school that always irked him for some reason. 

"Nothing. Just work," Keith answered, picking up a few more cans. 

Lance stood there for a solid minute, squinting at Keith like he used to in the past. He only did that when Keith might've said something stupid to him or if he was confused. Both of those options were probably right. 

" _Work?_ " 

"Yeah. _Work._ "

"Who works on Christmas?"

"I do."

"But... But it's _Christmas!_ A time to celebrate with family and friends. Ever heard of it?"

There was a pang in his chest at the words "family" and "friends." It wasn't Lance's fault. He didn't know. 

"Yes, I have. And I don't have any of those." It was the truth, but he wasn't going to go beyond that. He placed the cans on the shelf and picked up the last couple. 

Lance just stood there and looked at him, squinting gone. Keith couldn't read his expression, he couldn't see any pity in his eyes, but he also couldn't see anything else. Eventually, Lance fully frowned and shook his head. "What- _wait._ You mean to say that you don't have any friends or family to celebrate the holidays with, so you're working instead?" 

"That's what I said, Lance."

"But that's... That's not right."

Keith was the one to frown and furrow his brows in confusion then. 

_Not right?_

Lance fidgetted with his coat one last time before coming up with his next words. "How about... you celebrate with mine? Hunk and Pidge, you remember them? They're going too." 

Keith finally put the last of the stock where they belonged, but he was still so perplexed. He didn't understand how Lance was going to invite a stranger into his family's Christmas. 

But as if his old crush could read his thoughts, he continued his pitch, "My family's totally chill about inviting friends over. That's why I said Hunk and Pidge are coming as well." 

Friends?

_Friends...?_

"We're friends?" Keith asked, completely taken aback. He couldn't remember a day where Lance would ever call him a _friend._ He barely called him an _acquaintance._

His crush looked just as confused as he did, but he avoided Keith's constant eye contact as much as he could. If Keith knew Lance well enough, he could say that he was _flustered._ He was stuttering only a bit before he finally answered the question. "I mean... I thought we were? Are you not okay with that or something?" 

"No." Lance's eyes widened in shock and his shoulders fell, dejected. "W-wait. No, I meant, _no,_ that I'm not _not_ okay with being friends with you."

"What?"

"I mean, I-I _am_ okay being friends with you. Basically."

Lance squinted at Keith one last time before letting out a sigh. "Why didn't you just say that?"

" _What?_ I just _did!_ "

"Yeah, but it took you forever to give me a simple answer! You could've just said _yes!_ "

"No, that wouldn't have made sense either! You worded your question in a way-"

" _Kogane!_ "

Of course, his superior had to stumble upon two idiots arguing over a stupid answer. It certainly made Keith look like he was going off on a customer, so he was sure he was going to hear it.

"I understand that you have problems that you need to deal with, Kogane, but we _don't_ take them out on our customers."

"Sir-"

"Don't 'sir' me, you know better."

"But, we-"

"No! If this happens ever again-"

"W-wait! Mr. Manager, sir!" Lance waved his hands in surrender, hoping to get the attention of the manager. "Keith and I are old classmates. I was just inviting him to my family's Christmas party. We were always bickering and stuff like that, so what you saw was completely normal!"

"You... You both are old friends?"

Lance nodded his head, the manager turning his suspicious gaze over to Keith for more confirmation. The student nodded as well, trying hard not to get fired or get on his superiors list. 

"You're off this Christmas Eve, and Christmas day then. It's decided."

* * *

It turned out that Lance just wanted to know where the toilet paper was. 

"Can you not read the signs up above every single aisle?" Keith asked, leading the way through shoppers and condiments. Despite his question, he didn't sound too annoyed with Lance. Because Keith wasn't bothered in the slightest, he was still thriving off of their old banter. 

"No, I guess not, _Keith._ They changed everything since I've been away. And if I didn't ask for help, you wouldn't have ever been invited to my Christmas party!"

Even though this was good news to Keith, he couldn't help but feel a tingling sense of anxiety in the back of his mind. He never met Lance's family before and never talked to Hunk or Pidge. Keith never went to another person's house before for _anything._ He never even made close enough friends for that to happen.

That was when Keith began to realize that he _never_ _did_ a lot of things. 

"Yeah, I guess you're right about that, but I still didn't say if I was going or not."

Lance suddenly stopped in the middle of an aisle. Keith turned to find that his crush was glaring at him, his arms crossed over his chest. "What do you mean? I thought your answer was established already."

"No. The manager only said that I had two days off, and that was it. I never said I was going or not."

"Are you joking, Keith? Are you _really_ serious? I honestly can't tell if you're doing this to piss me off or if you genuinely aren't coming to the party." 

Keith heaved a sigh, slowly walking up to Lance, only about a foot away from him. In his honesty, it was pretty close, closer than he's ever been to someone in a long time. He expected Lance to push him away or step back because of distancing, but surprisingly to no avail. His crush kept his face twisted into a confused looking pout, and Keith couldn't help but smile behind his mask. Well, it was more of a smirk. 

"I'm just fucking with you."

He turned on his heel and made his way to the toilet paper with a groaning Lance stomping on after him. 


	4. Welcome and Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is back on cloud nine.

After Keith showed Lance the toilet paper aisle, he, of course, traded contact information with him for the upcoming event. Reluctantly. He wasn't sure how Lance would react to him not having a phone, or if he should even tell him. But to Keith, honesty was everything, especially when he had someone to call a friend, after what felt like forever. 

"So, you don't have a phone?" Lance asked, not perplexed, more so curious. 

"Uh, no. I only have email." 

"Even back in high school, you didn't?"

"No, I didn't have one. Ever."

Keith couldn't exactly tell what Lance's expression was. It wasn't pity, wasn't judgemental, and it wasn't confusion, things that Keith figured would be a normal reaction. Instead, his crush just nodded his head thoughtfully. 

"Hm. I can't say I've ever met anyone who hasn't ever had a phone before. How... how did you-"

"My dad's phone number. That's what I use for things I can get by. If not, I explain that email is the only option."

"Your dad's cool with that?"

And there it was. For no reason at all, there was a sinking feeling in Keith's chest. He didn't know how to answer, but he thought about it before. He knew his dad was dead and gone, but he always wondered if it was the right thing to use what was his. The watch was different, since it was _given_ to him when he was young. But the phone. The phone number was something that he felt guilty using _all the time._

He pondered if his dad would be proud and happy about where he was. Keith even wondered if his father would want things to be different for him. Either way, it wasn't like Keith could be sure of what his father would approve. Heith Kogane, taken from him at a pretty early age. They never had enough time to discuss what Keith was going to be or what kind of plans he had in store. But even so, he knew deep down that his father would've wanted him to do whatever made him happy.

But once his dad was gone, so was his motivation and ambition. There was no one there. No one else to encourage him, cheer him on, point him in the right direction. 

"Keith...?" 

Honestly, there were times when Keith thought that he could never be as cool as his dad was. A hero, he called him. He saved lives every day and could talk about it forever. 

Until he didn't anymore.

Why wasn't Keith like that? 

"Hey, Keith."

Why couldn't he be like that? What was he, lazy, lacking ambition, what was it? 

"Keith!"

The student's mind instantly snapped out of its haze when he felt someone's warm hands grab his shoulders. It was rough but so comforting, too much, but just perfect at the same time. Lance's firm grip was one that forced him back to where he was and what he was doing. His dark eyes focused on the person before him and then recognized just how close he was. There was a tingling sensation where Lance's grip was, and he couldn't say that it was uncomfortable. It wasn't at all. 

He liked the feeling, approved it, and damn near savored it. 

Was that wrong? To want more, to be more selfish? 

"Hey..." Keith mumbled. It was so quiet he was surprised that Lance even heard him. 

"Are you alright? You were zoned out there, man. I got worried."

Worried...? He made _Lance_ worry?

"I'm sorry," was all he could say, his mind trying to decipher like it's supposed to. 

"What are you apologizing for?"

"For making you worried." 

"What? No, don't apologize to me. It's... weird coming from you. And besides, there's nothing to apologize for." 

Keith reluctantly nodded, still feeling embarrassed but guilty that he got lost in his depressing thoughts in the middle of a normal conversation with his crush. But before he could dwell on it further, Lance spoke once again. 

"What time do you get off?" 

"In about..." he checked the watch, "thirty minutes."

Keith was surprised. Most of his shifts felt like time moved like molasses going _up_ a mountain. 

Lance unfortunately released his hold on Keith. "Okay. I'm gonna buy this toilet paper, some gifts, check out, and meet you outside."

"What? Why?"

"Because I said so, _mullet!_ And I can't believe you still have that flipping hair after _high school."_

Lance groaned one last time before snatching a giant pack of toilet paper, turning on his heel, and walking away to get what Keith could assume was a basket. His crush left him speechless and confused. Even though this wasn't the first time, it was still a clash with his system. What did Keith have to do next? He couldn't even remember. 

* * *

The air was a cold breeze when the automatic doors of the supermarket slid open. Keith's hair stood up in response, creating goosebumps all across his arms, the tingling sensation traveling on its own. He thought that he had dressed warm that day, a hoodie and a jacket on top with his signature fingerless gloves. He remembered Lance criticizing him for wearing such a pointless article of clothing. 

_"If it doesn't keep your hands warm, then what's the point??"_

Keith chuckled to himself at the memory. He wore gloves all the time, even every single day in high school. The student liked the feeling of them, the small bit of comfort they offered. And they always hid his scars from his hot temper. 

The gloves were a gift. Given by whom, Keith didn't exactly know... 

"So. Are we just going to stand in the cold?" 

Keith snapped his gaze up to meet Lance's. He never realized how Lance was taller than him, only by a bit. 

"How long have you been waiting out here?" Keith asked, all of a sudden worried that he might've gotten Lance sick just from reminiscing again. He silently berated himself for it, hoping that his mind would stop making everything about the past. 

"Not that long, only a few minutes. What, are you worried?" 

"Can you blame me? It's cold out here."

Lance just turned away and just ushered Keith to follow. From behind, the student couldn't help but notice that Lance's ears were bright red. He stood outside longer than what he said. He must've. But Keith just quietly worried for his new friend, knowing that the topic was already gone in the moment. 

"Uh... So, where exactly are we going?" Keith asked. It was around six in the evening, and Keith didn't want it to end. But he couldn't help but be curious as to what Lance had in mind for him. This whole situation wasn't what Keith expected at all. When he laid eyes on him in the supermarket and spoke to him, he thought it was only a one-time thing. Something that wouldn't last, and Lance would never talk to him ever again. 

But to his surprise, it didn't turn out the way, and he certainly wasn't complaining. During their interactions in the past hour, Lance invited him to his Christmas party and _wanted_ to exchange contact information. 

To which, they didn't finish discussing yet. 

But before Keith could bring it back up, his crush suddenly stopped in the middle of the parking lot. He stopped at a particular car that the student assumed was either his or his family's. He couldn't know for sure. "This might be asking too much of you... Especially after inviting you, or really, _making you,_ come to my Christmas party," Lance explained, "But I wanted to know if it was cool if you wanted to hang out with some people that are going too? I don't know your comfort zone, but I thought that maybe it would help you more?"

Oh, God. Lance was trying to make Keith more comfortable about going, which was _sending_ Keith to another realm. _And_ he wanted him to come with him to hang out with other people? Keith didn't like people most of the time. But if they knew Lance, it didn't seem so bad to the student to get to know others for a while longer. And, maybe even learn a bit more about his crush. 

Keith honestly felt like a weirdo for thinking like that, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to get to know more about Lance and how he changed. Keith wanted to understand more about what Lance liked and didn't like about certain things, his opinion. If there was one thing Keith could say he was an expert on when it came to Lance was what can make him tick. So then what made Lance laugh and smile?

It can't get more cliche for Keith to think and wonder about those things, but it was true. 

"Yes." No hesitation. 

"Y-yes? That quick?"

"That's what I said. Do you need me to pay you for the ride?"

"No, Keith, why would I make you pay?"

"Because... gas costs money?" 

Lance heaved a sigh and shooed Keith to the other side of the car so he could get in. As soon as they both got situated and put their seat belts on, Lance explained, "You don't have to pay me. I'm doing this because we are friends, remember?"

"But, I thought-"

"Nope, no, no, we're done with this conversation. We're friends, dammit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, I wanted to write Texas Kogane, but then I wasn't sure if that was his actual name or if it was Heith. But Texas Kogane will always make me laugh.  
> And thank you for your comments. If you think I could do something better, then please let me know. I'm always open.


	5. Concerned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, the virus. Something they'd like to forget.

"Um... I know it's probably too late to ask, but what about the virus?" Keith asked. Despite his question, he sincerely didn't want to part ways with Lance at all. But it was a valid question, in the time of a pandemic that never seemed to want to end, would it be the best idea to go hang out with others? 

The last time Keith got checked was just before he went to college. It was a requirement, only because he stayed in the dorms they offered. His classes were online. Keith _knew_ they only fueled his loneliness, but he also knew that in-person classes just made him more anxious than ever. The situation was like a double-edged sword. Both sides benefited him in some ways but hurt him in others. 

"You got tested before you went to school, right?" Lance questioned. 

Keith nodded.

"I had to do the same thing. But I got tested once the semester was over, and so did Hunk and Pidge, my friends we're meeting. We're negative. What about you?"

Oh, shit. Keith never had to get tested _after_ the semester, and he didn't _willingly_ do it because he didn't think he had any plans. But even so, he tried to decipher in his mind how maybe Lance could give him a pass, and he wouldn't care? 

But, if Keith was honest with himself, he didn't want to endanger Lance _and_ his friends. That would be selfish of him. He didn't make a new friend to fuck him over the minute he could hang out with him and transfer the virus. He couldn't know for sure what Lance wanted to do or what his major was, but Keith knew, deep down, that Lance had a whole life ahead of him. Lance may not die from the virus (which Keith cannot even think about), but it was sure to mess up his studies at the very least. 

Keith didn't know about the symptoms except that it could vary from person to person. But he had heard of how it could feel horrible for some, attacking their respiratory system. 

And most importantly, Keith never wanted to be the reason that Lance got sick. A virus or just a common cold, it didn't matter to him. He couldn't do that to his crush, not Lance. 

"Keith? Are you zoning out again?"

"Stop the car."

"Wha- Why? We're-"

"Please, Lance, I didn't take the test. I may not feel anything, but I don't know, and- and I don't wanna infect you if I have it, so, please-"

Lance glanced at him, only for a split second before shifting his eyes back to the road. He sighed but did what Keith asked. Or really, what he begged him to do. 

"Okay, okay, I'm pulling over."

The second he stopped the car, Keith unbuckled his seatbelt as fast as he could. 

"Whoa, hey! We're on the highway, Keith, practically in the middle of nowhere! How are you-"

The student shut the door after finding a clearing. He began briskly walking the direction they came from, right beside the bustling highway of speeding vehicles. They were loud and fast, more than likely breaking the speed limit, especially when getting into the later hours. 

"Keith! Hang on!"

The cold hit him like a truck when he left the warm vehicle, but that didn't stop Keith, not even Lance's voice. 

It hurt Keith. His heart felt like it was shrinking in on itself as his crush's voice grew more and more distant. It was telling him to turn around and go back and apologize. But he couldn't. No way. 

Aside from the cars to his left zooming by, he could also hear the sound of footsteps. They were growing louder in his ears, quick and sure, heading straight towards Keith. 

Then his mind went blank the second he felt those two hands grab his arms from behind. It wasn't rough, just firm, and Keith could almost say desperate. But that was impossible. 

Either way, his body froze where it was, the two points that held him overpowering his other senses. The hands... they felt good again. Warm and strong. 

"I swear to God, Keith. You always managed to piss me off but make me worried at the same fucking time. You haven't changed _at all."_

Lance's hands turned Keith around, almost like a ragdoll. Keith didn't stop it. He just let it happen because that was what he wanted all along. But he couldn't have that. 

He began to back away, trying to shake his arms from Lance's grip. His entire being didn't want to do it, but his mind kept thinking of the virus and how Lance could potentially-

"Keith, you are not going anywhere! Not in this cold! Not by yourself! And _certainly_ not on this highway with cars going almost _double_ over the fucking speed limit!"

Keith had never heard Lance yell like that. All he could do was stand there with his jaw slack and eyes wide, shocked that Lance could get so bothered. Sure, Keith's seen him pissed off, but this was on a whole different level. 

"But... the-"

"Look, I get that you're worried. But you _up and left_ before you could hear me explain that I know someone who could test you. Like, right now."

"But-"

"And no more 'buts,' Keith! And besides, we've already been _this_ close before." His deep blue eyes trailed over both points of contact, his hands loosening, only a bit. He didn't want Keith to leave still. Or he didn't trust him to stay. 

Keith's heart was pounding in his chest. The noises the cars were making were all he could hear after Lance. With each car passing, Keith thought of all the times since they met in the supermarket, how close he was to Lance. He was right. They already made close enough contact. So, Keith was already someone who passed it, passed it to _Lance,_ of all people. He felt guilty, just like he always did and-

"Keith, no more zoning out on me again. I'm fine. We're _fine._ Let's just get you to the hospital, and I'll even get tested again just to make sure. But I know that we're gonna be okay. Alright?" 

It's not like Keith had a choice anyway because it didn't seem like Lance was letting go anytime soon. So, Keith reluctantly nodded, even though he was silently telling himself how he screwed everything. Not only that, but also that he was more than likely going to test positive with the kind of luck he had. 

Lance was right. Keith didn't change _at all._


	6. Apologizing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance getting to know Keith, just a little more.

Even though Keith couldn't hang out with Lance or his friends that night, he was fortunate enough to email Lance for the next few days while awaiting the results. It turned out that he was negative. Keith was relieved, but the student still felt guilty after what happened. He didn't want to admit it, but he freaked out a little. He was serious when it came to Lance, but he didn't want to scare him the way he did. 

He hopped out of a car in the middle of nowhere, thinking Lance was going to let that slide. His crush was too kind to him. 

And that was another thing that Keith realized over the short amount of time they spent together. Lance was remarkably kind to him. Yes, they would bicker and argue, but really in a playful sort of way. It was nostalgic to Keith and quite possibly the same for Lance. It felt nice to be able to do that again, as _friends._

Even though Keith liked Lance a lot, he was content just being near him. He wasn't planning on telling his crush his feelings any time soon. Not unless he could pick up signals that Lance liked him in some way? 

No. Keith didn't even know what "signals" were. He thought back and pondered if anyone truly like-liked him. And no, no one did from what the student remembered. He couldn't blame his peers at all since he knew how much of a jerk he could be back then. 

Keith started getting good grades in his sophomore year of high school, mostly A's. He never told anyone because the teachers did that for him. They would gush about how Keith was "doing so well" and how "smart he was," etcetera. But unexpectedly, this brought problems to Keith. Or _students._

Anyone came up to him and asked for help, but when he tried to make an effort to do so, it was like no one understood him. It was frustrating. Most just wanted answers to equations or multiple choice problems rather than working them out and trying to solve them correctly. For whatever reason, it just pissed Keith off. He worked hard to get those grades, no cheating, just studying. School was never easy for him, but at least he tried. And others just wanted to use him for an easy way out. 

So, when he started denying his "help" to others, he was given shit for it. 

_"You'd do the same shit if you were in my shoes, so what gives?"_

_"You really think you're something, don't you? What a fucking teacher's pet."_

Unfortunately for them, they were wrong. Keith didn't think he was _anything._ And he didn't think he ever would be. He was just trying to get through high school, get out of his foster home, and leave for college that he knew he wouldn't be able to pay off for decades. 

Keth never liked people anyway, not since his father died. And he was sure it was going to stay that way until he met Lance. 

His crush already knew about Keith or his temper and how other students picked fights with him almost every day. How could he not with how lightning-fast rumors spread in their school? So, being the kind person he was, he started up a conversation with Keith one day. 

"Are you Keith, by any chance?" he asked. 

Said person lifted his deep dark eyes to crystal clear blue ones. They were so, so blue. Even so, Keith being Keith, he ignored the boy's question and slowly drifted his eyes away from him. He was resting his head on his arms, draping his body over his desk in English class, bored and ready for it to start. 

"Okaaaay. Not much of a talker." Lance set his binder down on the seat next to him, slipping his backpack off his shoulder. He didn't seem to notice Keith's irritatedly pinched eyebrows and his glare that he stubbornly focused on the carpeted floor. Well, either he didn't, or he didn't care. 

Lance made his way to the table full of textbooks for every student before class. It was simple, grab a book, write down the number of it and your name on the clipboard, and you're good to go. 

To Keith's surprise, Lance brought back two. 

"Here. I saw that you didn't have one." He held it out for Keith to take, but the student just stared at him in confusion. When he didn't make a move after a few seconds, Lance just sighed and shoved it next to Keith's arms on his desk, the corners stabbing his flesh a bit. 

"Why did you do that?" Keith asked. Lance set his book on his desk and slid down into his seat. He turned and gave him a half-smile, almost looking... challenging. 

"Because it would be stupid to ruin your grades for this semester, mullet."

"What did you just call me?"

"You heard me. I called you _mullet._ Who even has that hairstyle anymore?"

"I do!"

"Don't tell me you have it because you like it?"

Keith's eye twitched, but he just heaved a frustrated sigh, trying to let it go. It was weird. Keith couldn't tell if he wanted to be friends or if he wanted to be a jerk. Maybe he was getting him back for not answering him? Either way, Keith was confused and already frustrated with his new seatmate. 

"You have no idea, do you?" 

Keith snapped his gaze back to Lance, his face contorted into a full-on frown. "What?"

"What? Did I say something? Oh, sorry. Wasn't talking to you."

"Who else could you possibly be talking to?" 

"It doesn't matter, Keith. I'll have more by the end of this year."

"More of _what?"_

Keith was honestly about to explode, but the stupid bell rang before he could even get Lance's answer. 

And the rest of high school pretty much ended up with the two of them arguing, bickering, bantering, but not fighting. Lance always kept being cryptic about whatever rivalry was going on in his head at the time. 

It still confused Keith as he sat in his dorm room, waiting on his crush's email. 

Actually, when _did_ Lance become Keith's crush? 

When did he start like-liking him? 

Lance was the only person who he didn't want to punch. Even though he enjoyed making Lance mad, just as much as Lance enjoyed making him react the same way, it was mutual, in a way. 

But as those years went on, Keith began to take notice of things.

His short hair had the slightest curve to it at the ends, and his beautiful sun-kissed skin. Long flexible limbs that Keith unconsciously stared at in gym class. His button nose was something that Keith adored, the way it scrunched up whenever he got pissed at him. But what got Keith the most was his eyes, such a gorgeous shade of blue. It was the first thing he saw when he looked at Lance, no matter what. 

Keith knew that he was gay when he first entered high school. He was interested in many guys and was never once interested in girls. But the student never told any one of the guys his feelings. He was the suffering-with-his-feelings-in-silence type. Keith feared them not reciprocating his feelings. He knew he shouldn't have and that it was okay for them to do that, but it was something that he couldn't get over. Some were straight, and some already had significant others, which made Keith feel guilty about liking them in the first place. He knew that he probably shouldn't have felt that way, but he couldn't help it. 

Lance didn't have anyone he was dating. And he was bisexual. 

But Keith didn't tell him a thing. He didn't drop any "signals," or whatever those were, and he didn't change his attitude towards him. He just stuck with interacting with him like he always did, and eventually parting ways with him for what he assumed was forever. 

Until the supermarket, of course. 

The student blinked out of his reverie and glanced back down to his laptop, noticing a new email. Of course, from Lance. It turned out that Keith's luck wasn't so bad after all since his crush tested negative as well. 

_See? I told you we were fine. Let me know where and when you want to be picked up. And remember, you don't have to pay either, mullet._

* * *

"I'm sorry." 

It was the first thing Keith said when he got into the car, more than likely interrupting Lance's greeting. But he had to say it. His college only paid for his testing at the beginning of the first semester and the second. So that meant that Lance, of course, pitched in and paid for an expensive ass test that Keith tried so hard to cover himself. He tried desperately to convince his crush that it was fine, but Lance stubbornly assured him that his college paid for any virus testing for him, unlike Keith's, and that it was fine. He thanked him profusely, Lance trying to convince that it was perfectly okay. 

But it wasn't okay. Not for Keith. He felt like he needed to give Lance something back for everything he had done for him. He invited Keith to a party, drove him to the hospital to get tested, which he _paid_ for, and that evening he was going to introduce Keith to his closest friends (driving again, of course). 

"I said that you don't have to apologize to me. It was fine!" 

"I know, but... that was a lot, Lance. Everything you've done has been _a lot."_

Keith didn't look at his crush because he didn't want to see his expression. It's not that Keith wasn't grateful, he most certainly _was,_ but he didn't know how to _give back_ to Lance aside from giving him a cheesy gift on Christmas.

It felt like no gift could match the happiness he felt when being with Lance. 

But, dammit, if he wasn't going to try to find _something_ for that boy. 

"Uh... I actually have a question for you. And you don't have to answer if you don't want to," Lance said, pulling onto the highway from before. 

"Shoot."

"Have you ever gotten gifts?"

What an odd question. Keith's eyes flicked to the watch around his left wrist, the leather worn but still managing. 

"Yeah, when I was younger."

"But... how old was it when you stopped getting them?" 

"Around twelve, maybe... Around the time my dad died."

Keith's eyes never left the watch, or his hands, thumbing his gloves that were like protection to him. He knew that Lance didn't know, but he wasn't sure when the time was right to tell him. But he also knew that he would _never_ be sure. 

At first, he was scared that he might've made a mistake. It had been a solid minute with no response. Maybe it was too much for Lance? They were going to hang out with friends right after the car ride, and Keith had to bring up his dad's death just like that? Keith heard all the negative shit replaying in his mind, over and over again. 

_You fucked it up, you fucked it up, you fucked-_

_"Keith..."_

The voice that broke through his own sounded like a broken sigh. When he finally looked up, his heart sunk at the sight of tears rolling down Lance's face. 

"Lance... I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, stop apologizing, _please..._ It's just... I never knew that about you. Not even in high school, and- and I asked you the other day about-" he shook his head, more tears falling, "And I'm just so sorry. I didn't know... _I'm sorry..."_

Despite his tears, he kept on driving, quickly wiping his eyes with the back of his wrist so he could see the road. 

"But, Lance, you didn't know, and it was okay. You couldn't have known that." 

The car stopped, and suddenly Keith realized they were in a parking lot at someone's house. He could only assume it was where Lance's friends lived. 

Lance turned off the car and tried to get more control of his breathing. He reached into the glove box, grabbing a hand full of napkins. He pulled down his mask and wiped his eyes and nose one last time before finally looking at Keith. Lance's eyes were puffy, and his nose was red from all the friction. 

"I'm sorry... I know crying isn't really a good start for this night out. To think, I'm trying to make you just a little more comfortable..." 

"You are, Lance. I wouldn't have told you if I wasn't. But... are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine for now... Thank you, Keith."

"What happened to mullet?" 

And there it was. Lance cracked a small smile and huffed out a laugh, shaking his head once again. 

"God, I must look horrible. Hunk and Pidge are going to be asking so many questions," Lance said, grabbing his napkins and reaching behind him for a backpack. 

"I think you look okay."

"Oh, _do I?_ Whatever, mullet. Just get inside."

"And he's back."


	7. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge and Hunk, and the smallest accident. Or was it an accident?

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lance. What's up with those eyes? I've seen them before!" Hunk said, his eyes flicking over to Keith then back. 

They just walked through the door, and both Pidge and Hunk were standing before them, like they were waiting. The two friends both had their arms crossed, amusingly looking like patronizing parents almost. 

"I'm fine, Hunk, and before you jump to conclusions, _both of you,_ it wasn't Keith's fault. I can already see it in your _eyes."_

"Well, obviously, we're going to think that it was Keith because he was the last person you've hung around, so... What'd he do now?" Pidge asked, adjusting her glasses. 

What? What did she mean, _"what'd he do now?"_

Keith, confused, turned his awkward gaze back to Lance, who was setting his backpack on the floor and kicking off his shoes. "Guys. For the last time, he didn't do anything."

"But we've heard so much about Keith! He's always doing something, according to you."

"You... You talk about me?" Keith asked. He didn't care or have a problem with it, but he was curious. 

Lance's friends were kind of what he expected them to be. They didn't care who Keith was, but they were going to let out _a ton_ of information on his crush. 

Lance groaned and made his way through the house and into the kitchen, three others in tow. "What happened to our secret system, guys?" he asked, tossing his mask into the trash.

"That system was fucked."

"Pidge, _language,"_ Hunk said, but it didn't look like she acknowledged it.

"I'm just saying you can't _actually_ expect us to not to embarrass you. Well, at least me, I think Hunk's trying."

The said student nodded, "I am."

 _"Keith,"_ Lance said, pretty much ending the subject at hand with his tone of voice, "This is Hunk and Pidge. Hunk and Pidge, this is Keith."

"Didn't we _just_ explain that we already know him?"

"Pidge, I swear to God-"

"Guys, guys, you're scaring Keith." Hunk motioned to the boy that stood in the kitchen archway, not knowing what to do with himself. "Hi, Keith. Welcome to my humble abode. We will be serving pizza tonight, but I'm actually making it. I promise it's good!" 

Hunk seemed like the mediator between Lance in Pidge whenever they got antsy from what Keith could gather, at least from first impressions. He also seemed like a pretty chill guy. 

Pidge immediately began her introduction. "Hello, Keith. I'm Pidge, and I know too much about you from this guy right here," she gestured to Lance, ignoring his squinting eyes, "But you seem pretty cool. We're gonna play some video games tonight too, so be prepared for a beating."

Keith looked between all three of them, cracking a small smirk. He understood how they were friends with each other. 

"Well, thank you for having me. And make sure to go easy on me with the games. I've never played before."

* * *

" _'Never played before,'_ my ass!" Pidge glared past Lance, where Keith sat, all three on the couch playing good old Mario Kart.

"Pidge, the profanity!" Hunk called from the kitchen. She rolled her eyes in response and pouted. "Just because Keith is a natural at the game, it doesn't mean that you have to be mean to him."

Ignoring Hunk once more, she frowned and asked, "But seriously, you've never played Mario Kart before? How are you _this_ good? I've been a champion among Hunk and Lance for _years."_

"I swear, I've never played before. Only watched." 

Pidge didn't look at all convinced, but she let it slide and set the switch down. "Let's play something else since you've defeated the ultimate Karting champion." 

Lance leaned a little closer to Keith, whispering in his ear, which honestly made Keith's heart hop right out of his chest. "Don't worry. She's just a sore loser."

"I can _hear_ you."

"Whatever."

Keith didn't know what to do about the closeness between him and Lance. It wasn't bad, and if anything, it was great. He wasn't ever uncomfortable with Lance because he had no reason to be. If Keith truly liked someone, then he was one hundred percent content with said person. He felt satisfied being near him, but there were times when Keith's body reacted with a familiar tingling sensation, craving more of whatever his crush did. 

His warm hand was resting on his shoulder, his torso leaning right next to Keith's. It was warm and something Keith wanted _more._

_Get it together, it's just a small couch..._

While he was having the whole inner pep talk of trying to get over the touch he desired so desperately, Lance was arguing with Pidge about what game they should play next with Keith and what he would've probably preferred. 

"The pizza's ready, guys!" 

The dispute ceased, and then they suddenly looked like wolves, immediately scrambling from the couch for their feast. But in the process, Pidge, with her mighty strength, managed to shove Lance back onto the couch. 

Well, except it wasn't on the couch. 

It was on Keith. 

His warm back was against Keith's torso, _all of it._ His narrow hips were in-between Keith's thighs, with one long limb leg draped over one of them as well. His hair was right underneath Keith's nose, and he couldn't help but subtly smell the sweet citrus aroma that must've been from Lance's shampoo or conditioner. Either way, Keith's sense of touch and smell were all firing off at once with the sudden impact of his crush, his face immediately feeling like it was on fire from the scrambling that Lance was doing. 

He was moving... a little too much where his hips were. 

When Keith lifted his gaze from below, he saw the amused smirk on Pidge's face. "You two were made for each other. You guys should look at yourselves." She hummed as she left the room, going straight into the kitchen with a confused Hunk. 

"You should look at _yourself!"_ Lance yelled, sliding down to the ground, past Keith's knees, instead of just getting up. He just sighed and grumbled something else before turning his attention towards Keith. 

And there was just something about Lance in that moment that Keith couldn't stop ruminating on. 

_Maybe,_ it was the fact that his crush was right between his knees, on the floor, hand resting on Keith's fucking thigh, with the bluest of eyes, and his stare- 

"Keith? You okay?" he asked. 

"I'm going..." 

"What? You're leaving?"

_I'm going to collapse..._

"No. I'm going... I'm going to the bathroom." 

"Oh... Uh, it's down the hall and the last door on the left."

But Keith didn't move, as his eyes kept flitting between Lance and his innocently placed hand. He was stone-still, and his body refused to move unless it was to detach itself from him. 

His crush must've understood that maybe it was because of his touch because he mumbled a small, "Oh!" and took his hand away from Keith, almost like his thigh burned him the second Lance realized. "Sorry..." 

"No, it's fine, I just..." 

What was he even trying to _say?_

"...Um. Yeah."

And that was it. The student got up and left as fast as he could down the hall. 

What the fuck, Keith?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The semester started for me. Oh, God. I'll still upload on this because it's just so addictive. I don't know why.  
> Hopefully, you have a great start, a great day, night, evening, wherever you are.  
> Thank you for reading, and thank you so much for the comments.


	8. Ex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet someone new.

Lance was worried. 

He had eaten two slices of the extra-large delicious pizza Hunk had made for all _three_ of his friends. But only two were enjoying it, of course counting the chef as well. 

"He's taking a pretty long time in there... Someone should go check on him," Hunk said, worriedly peeking behind the corner of the hallway. 

Lance peered behind Hunk, eyeing the light shining underneath the doorway of the bathroom. No shadows were moving. There were no flushes to be heard and no water running either. 

What did Lance do?

Keith must've known that it was an accident or not _his_ fault that he ended up invading his personal space. Did it bother Keith? 

Wait. Did Lance _smell_ bad? There was no way because he took a pretty thorough shower that morning, just like _every_ morning. But despite that, he sniffed his shirt a few times, confirming that it wasn't his clothes either. 

Was Keith _uncomfortable_ with Lance?

He couldn't have been, because in the car, they some, sort of... _bonding moment?_ Lance discovered something about Keith that he was _willing_ to share and even stated that it was fine. 

So, it _had_ to be the personal space problem. Or something more. 

_"Well, I don't have either of those..."_

He couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt from Keith's words. He should've woken up and realized that Keith didn't have family, as in, they passed away. At the time, he thought that Keith was just detached from his family, given he never spoke about them before. But Lance couldn't have been more wrong. 

Lance concluded that perhaps, Keith was touch-starved and isolated for far too long. He'd known Keith to be naturally introverted and tried to avoid people like the plague in high school, but he figured even _the_ _most_ introverted people needed some time with fellow people. People that they trusted. Especially after such a long time of that "recharging" period they had to have. 

But... for some reason, Keith's situation seemed more important than just being a natural loner. It felt like it was a more dire situation. Just how long had Keith been like that? How long had he been utterly _alone?_

Lance's life seemed different from Keith's. No, maybe a _whole lot_ different. He always had family, no matter what. He had great friends that would hear him out, no matter how stupid or insignificant the subject. So, hearing Keith tell him that his dad had passed made Lance's chest pang with not pity. Because he didn't think that was what Keith needed at all. It panged with guilt, but also a crushing sadness. He couldn't imagine losing his father, or any of his family for that matter, especially at such a young age. 

And Lance also realized he only knew of Keith's father, but what about his mother? Lance never recalled him mentioning her at all. Why would Keith use his father's number instead of his mother's if she was alive? 

His questioning thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the front door. All three in the kitchen paused what they were doing. 

Pidge was the first to ask, "Hunk, I thought your family went visiting more of your other family, and you would have the house?"

"I thought so too. I didn't get a call or text, so I'm just as confused as you."

"Who's answering it?" Lance asked. 

His two best friends looked at him, both emotions in their eyes unique from the others. Hunk's looked almost hopeful and borderline pleading, while Pidge's just looked like the answer was the most obvious thing in the universe. 

Lance sighed and turned for the front door. He glanced one more time down the hallway towards the bathroom. Keith was still in there. 

But Lance tried to suppress the urging emotion of worry just a little bit more as he reached for the front door. 

When he opened it, to his surprise, there was Allura. 

* * *

"Keith? Are you alright in there?" Hunk tentatively asked behind the bathroom door. 

No. Keith was _not_ alright. The student tried his best to _meditate_ or even _think_ his hard-on away, which wasn't so easy when there wasn't much he could distract himself from within the restroom. Keith wanted to take a cold shower, but obviously, this wasn't his dorm, so of course, the student couldn't do that. And he certainly _could not_ ask Hunk if he could use his shower. He only knew Lance's friends for a couple of hours!

And no. Keith was, without a doubt, _never_ going to jack off at someone else's house.

He had to focus on something that was a complete turn off for him.

_Just think about calculus, just think about calculus..._

Keith struggled with online math because it was something that he couldn't do on his own, which didn’t make any sense, and he _knew_ that. He had to ask several questions to his professor almost every day. Or, he could struggle to search the internet for a demonstration that was more than likely outdated. 

That, sort of, reminded him of how Keith would always go to his crush for questions the student might've had. It was so much easier than the shit he had to go through on his own in college. He would walk him through it, the same way Keith would help Lance with memorizing stuff. They both _begrudgingly_ accepted the other's help but undeniably appreciated it nonetheless. 

_Lance was always good at math..._

"Fuck..." he muttered under his breath. 

"Keith?" Hunk asked once more, his voice sounding like it was wavering from hesitant to worried. 

"I-I'm fine." 

He wasn't, but he knew that this was pretty strange fucking behavior. If he could imagine himself in Hunk's situation, he'd probably be concerned as well. 

Keith heard another voice from behind the door, "Geez, must be one heck of a shi-"

"Pidge, what did I say about the swears?"

"What else could he be doing?"

The bantering between the two helped Keith in some ways since he couldn't focus on Lance as much. They occupied themselves by arguing over what Keith could be accomplishing being in a bathroom for, and he checked his watch, damn near fifteen minutes. 

Alright. Keith had to leave since it was just getting ridiculous. He wouldn't have been surprised if Lance's friends didn't want to be in contact with him after that. Keith was the weirdo with a stupid erection camping in Hunk's bathroom, for fuck sake. 

Even though it was gone, he still felt just as humiliated if he had one in front of all three of them. 

He reluctantly opened the door, the chattering between the two slowly coming to a stop as their eyes trailed over to Keith. 

"I'm really sorry..." he said. It was purely genuine. He felt undoubtedly bad for worrying them or weirding them out. 

"Did you clog it that bad?" Pidge asked, blunt as ever. 

"What? N-no, I didn't use the bathroom. Well, I did, but- well-" 

"Hey," Hunk said, settling Keith's blabbering, but his eyes kind, "It's alright. Did you just need space?" 

Well... yeah. Keith did need that. Only for fifteen minutes so his erection could chill out, but yes. He nodded, grateful for Hunk's understanding nature. 

"But you're okay, right?" Pidge asked, to Keith's surprise. It wasn't that he thought Pidge didn't care. It was just that it was the first time hearing it from someone as candid as her. But he appreciated her direct attitude. It could be harsh but refreshing, at least from what he gathered from Mario Karting with her. 

"Yeah. Thank you both for checking in. I... I really am sorry-"

"Stop apologizing," she said, "You don't need to. Not with us." Despite her tone, she gave him a warm yet knowing grin, to which Keith gave a small one in return. 

"Where's Lance at?" he asked. He thought that Lance might've also been there. 

"Ah, well... Do you know Allura? Or, I guess, remember her from high school?" Hunk asked. 

Keith took only a split second to ponder and answered, "No, I've never heard of her." 

"She was Lance's girlfriend," Pidge said, her voice lower than before all of a sudden. 

What? But Keith remembered Lance being free back then... But what did this have to do with why he wasn't there or not?

Hunk must've been able to see the confusion in Keith's expression. "Lance asked her out right after graduation day, and since they were going to go to the same university, it seemed like cool beans. But, they broke up not too long ago," Hunk explained. "Now she's here all of a sudden. There's more than that, but it's not my place to tell." 

Keith was shocked to hear that Lance was interested in someone for some reason. He didn't know why he was surprised since Lance could probably have anyone he wanted. Lance was a beautiful, caring, kind, and funny guy, and Keith could understand how someone else could see what he saw. But it still made something in his chest ache. 

It almost felt like Keith missed his chance all over again. Like he should've asked Lance out. But even so, if it was right after graduation, it must've meant that Lance was really into that girl. So, he had no chance anyway. 

But despite those feelings, he also knew that the two broke up. But... Lance had to have been hurt by that. He began to wonder if he should even ask about it until he heard the front door shut, a heavy sigh, and footsteps that were making their way back to the kitchen. Until they paused at the hallway, brilliant blue eyes settling on the three people who stood at the end. 

"What're you guys just standing in a dark hallway for? That's kinda creepy." Even though it sounded like something he would say, there was something off with his voice. It was as if it was more tired, no more playfulness behind his words. 

All three looked to each other before watching Lance mope on into the kitchen. 

"Oh, no..." Hunk whispered. Keith just _barely_ caught what he said because of how quiet those two words were. 

"What?" Keith asked, watching their expressions change to something he had never seen before. It was like a mix of worry and sadness. 

"He's sulking again." 


	9. Gremlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relationships, man.

Keith never got into a relationship with anyone before. Mostly because he didn't think they would last, _especially_ in high school. The student had overheard plenty of horror stories about his peer's relationships; cheating, arguing, blackmailing, and something about nudes that were shared. It all sounded horrible to him, so he figured it would be better to wait until college. 

And well, college came. 

But he was still _painfully_ single as a pringle. Even so, he thought it would be better to _try_ and be in a relationship rather than just being lonely for the rest of his life and dwelling on his crush that had left him. But it was way easier said than done for the loner. 

And while he was watching his crush in such a sad state, it made him wonder why breakups had to hurt so much. 

Keith, Hunk, and Pidge observed as Lance opened the refrigerator door and pulled out a pint of ice cream. But then, he squinted at it for a _solid_ ten seconds before he finally decided to shove it back where it was. "I can't trust icecream still..." he sighed, seeming fatigued. Lance decided to search the pantries next, not rifling through things, just perusing. 

"Lance... Are you okay?" Keith asked hesitantly. He wasn't exactly sure if he should've asked or not, mostly because he wasn't always the best with other people's feelings. Which Keith realized was most definitely another reason as to why the student was alone. Nevertheless, he was going to make an effort to help Lance as much as he could. 

Yes, they loathed each other in the past, but they soon came to a point where their teasing was enjoyable in some cases. 

Only some, not all. 

His crush suddenly paused in the middle of opening a drawer, his gaze slowly sliding over to his small trio of friends. The sound of his voice matched the way he looked. It was as if the Lance Keith witnessed before he entered the bathroom was gone and replaced by a completely different one. It was a new side to Lance that Keith discovered, and it didn't stop him from wanting to see more of him. Layer after layer. 

Lance looked apprehensive at first, like he wanted to speak but couldn't. Keith could see his lips trembling, only slightly, until they decisively spoke. "Kinda... I'm assuming they told you?"

Keith nodded. "It sounds like it sucked," he said, his words sounding softer despite their candidness. 

Lance's breakup came out of nowhere for the student. Based on their interactions with each other, he didn't suspect Lance's old relationship at all. He never mentioned it, for obvious reasons. It looked like it was a serious and genuine relationship for Lance until it fell apart. 

His crush gave another sigh, cracking a crooked smile. "Well, it wasn't bad at all until it got that way, you know?" 

If Keith was honest, no. He didn't know. 

"Sure?" 

"What do you mean 'sure?'"

"It basically means what it means. _Sure."_

"No, no. You said it like a question."

"Well... I don't have as much experience with relationships. So how else was I supposed to answer?"

"You could've just- wait. _What?"_

Keith's brows pinched in confusion. "What??" he asked, _almost_ exasperatedly. All he wanted to do was make Lance feel better, but somehow he ended up getting into a little bicker-session with him. But, maybe it was what Lance wanted? 

Hunk and Pidge's eyes flicked back and forth as the conversation progressed.

"You... What do you mean you don't have as much experience?"

"Again, Lance... I mean it as I mean it, as in I've never dated anyone in my life." 

A long pause. An _achingly_ long one with Lance squinting at Keith like he had two heads or something. Keith was anything but embarrassed about it. He didn't have a reason to be. The student thought it was completely normal to be single, even if it was for his whole life. But it was most definitely not ideal, at least for him. 

With no response from Lance, Keith decided to continue, "Anyway, you're getting off track. You-"

 _"How?"_ Lance asked, completely ignoring the student's words and cutting him off. "How have _you,_ this- I can't even _describe_ you. How have you _never_ been out with someone?"

"It's honestly not that shocking. I think that you, of all people, know how I am."

 _"Actually,_ it kinda is shocking, considering you're... Because you're..." 

It wasn't that Lance was struggling to _find_ the words. It was more that he was holding them back. 

So, Pidge helped him out, being best buds with him and all. "He's basically surprised that you haven't dated anyone because he thinks you're pretty handsome," she explained. "Oh, and just _sooo_ cool. At least, from what he's told me."

Lance's gaze instantly snapped to his friend, not quite anguish in his expression but more like utter annoyance. 

"The _system!_ What happened to the _secret system?!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was difficult to write, and I don't know why.


	10. Gremlin Strikes Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps, a little push.

It wasn't that the car ride back to Keith's dorm was awkward. It was that it was quiet. For Keith, in _any_ other circumstance, would say that it was a comfortable silence. He wouldn't have the urge to initiate conversation at all _if_ it was anyone else driving him. 

But it was Lance, and he felt like the night didn't go the way his crush intended. 

The sounds of car noise were the only things that filled Keith's ears, and the headlights flashed by him as they sped past the window. Each car went by, second after second, and after enough time, the student finally felt the determination to say something, _anything._

"So..." Keith began, about to mention how they forgot to grab some masks before leaving. Lance had to end the evening since his mother set a curfew for him (which he forgot about), and they both left in quite a rush. But before he could continue, he was instantaneously cut off by Lance for the second time that night. 

"If you're going to ask if that was true or not, then _yes,_ it was true. I _do_ think that you're attractive and cool, but you know, _I_ wanted to say that. _Eventually,_ at least! On my own!" Lance said, firmly annoyed, "Pidge was being a gremlin, and I don't know _why_ it had to be tonight of all nights." 

Keith had seen this side of his crush before, only when they were in school together. In truth, Keith was more than likely the sole cause of those kinds of attitude changes. It had been a while since he saw Lance _that_ irritated, riled up, and quite possibly betrayed to the point where he was rambling. But Keith didn't mind if Lance rambled. He knew that it helped him to vent to someone about whatever was bothering him. 

So, he listened. 

"And I just wanted to make you a little more comfortable, but I think that I just... I don't know. I feel like I messed up or something, that I did the complete opposite! And then Allura came over, and that... that stung a bit," he said, pulling into the designated area at Keith's drop off point and eventually stopping. 

"And now the night is over, and I'm just sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't... that I couldn't-"

"Lance." 

He lifted his lowered head and looked to Keith, halting whatever it was that he felt like he needed to say. The student was looking him straight in the eye, and his torso was also facing Lance. 

"I thought you were the one that said to stop apologizing." 

"But, this is different-"

"No. No 'buts,' remember?" Keith asked, giving him the smallest of smiles. "I don't need you to apologize, Lance. This night wasn't uncomfortable for me in the slightest. If anything, you gave me a night that I haven't had in the longest time," he explained. For some reason, he could feel his throat begin to swell. Also, the familiar feeling of his face warming from the emotions that were threatening to spill over.

He didn't know why. Was it because he was finally saying what he wanted to say? 

"I've never had anyone to hang out with before. And I understand how you think tonight was a bad experience for me. But it wasn't. Not at all... So, don't apologize." Keith took the _deepest_ breath and finally broke the eye contact. "And Allura and your secrets... Uh, those parts do sound tough. For you, I mean. But I'll help you. I don't know how to, really, but I'll try." 

Keith refused to look at Lance's expression until he at least said something in return. Another beat of silence came after the next, similar to the cars. Except they were far off in the distance, on the highway. It was quiet for the two, only fueling the loudness of the student's thoughts. Did he say something weird? Did he make him feel awkward? 

Keith's worrying just barely overtook him until Lance... _moved._

And, Keith couldn't think, couldn't breathe, as there were a soft pair of lips on his. Not only were the lips soft, but the action itself was as well. It was tender, hot, yet so remarkably sweet, Keith couldn't believe it. The student almost thought that he was in another reality, a _dream._ Cause only in his dreams would he ever get so close to someone he truly liked.

It lasted only a few seconds, but to Keith, it felt like minutes. Lance slowly pulled away and opened his eyes, the blue, hardly to be seen, because of his dilated pupils. But Keith couldn't focus on anything other than the searing hotness he felt from Lance's kiss, still lingering and tingling on his lips. 

"Mistletoe," he whispered. But Keith was still so dazed that he barely heard his voice, barely understood. Lance glanced up to the car mirror, lifted his hand, and touched the delicate leaves of what Keith could only assume was the Christmas-kissing-plant, or mistletoe. 

It wasn't there before, from what he could remember. And he didn't realize it's presence until Lance's sight and touch grazed over it, like it was a mystery to him as well. 

"I should've probably asked you if I could first..." Lance said, his voice so quiet. He rested his hand back where it was before, his expression showing the slightest bit of guilt. The slightest bit that Keith wanted to erase immediately. 

"No. I... wanted it too. For a while now." 

It felt strange that he finally said it to him. It felt like a weight lifted after being carried for so long. A secret that he didn't even know he was dying to tell, and he, at last, got to share. 

"You did?" Lance asked, almost like he was surprised. How could a boy like that be surprised that someone had wanted him for a prolonged period? Lance had so many layers that Keith had yet to uncover and experience. But each one that he had found already, he loved. So why stop there?

"Yes. I also had things that I wasn't ready to say, I guess."

"Like what?" 

"That you're... so fucking funny when you get mad at me," Keith huffed, while Lance laughed a little. "I like it because you almost... _squawk_ at me, with your nose scrunching up. I think that it's adorable." 

"Only _you_ would find squawking and noses adorable... jerk," he mumbled, his hand coming up to cover his mouth, averting his gaze. Since it was late and dark out, Keith couldn't have been _entirely_ sure if he saw the rosy blush that tinted his crush's cheeks. 

"And, my god, you're so kind."

Lance shook his head in denial, his hand leaving his mouth, only to reveal a bashful smile underneath. "Kind? How?" 

"You didn't have to invite me to the Christmas party... but you did. You also didn't have to pay for that covid test, but you did. You could've taken my money for gas, but you didn't. You didn't have to make me feel more comfortable with others, but you wanted to."

"Keith..."

"I'm surprised that you think I'm cool, when really, you're the one that's amazing."

The strange thing was that Keith's heart was _racing,_ but he felt so calm at the same time, taking in every change of Lance's expression with a genuine smile. He knew that Lance could still reject him, could say that it was just a mistletoe kiss, and move on. But Keith wouldn't have regretted anything if that were the case. 

Lance rested his arms on the steering wheel, and eventually his head as well. He gave a contented sigh, and he turned once more to look at Keith. His appearance was something the student would burn into his memory, an embarrassed Lance, with his goofy, shy looking smile. 

"I really like you too."

* * *

Hunk let out a sad noise at the sight of his two leftover slices of pizza that Keith had forgotten to take with him. He still wrapped them up, put them in the fridge, and settled on emailing the student about it the next day. 

Lance was in a rush to leave, and he seemed upset about the broken system that he was considerably persistent about ever since he brought up the idea of Keith hanging out with them. And being the good-natured guy he was, he followed it. But he wasn't sure why Pidge wouldn't. She was unmistakably blunt, blunt in ways that some people might've said was rude. Despite her personality, there was something more, and Hunk could see it on her face, in her _eyes_ as she watched the two from the kitchen when they were there. 

"Alrighty, I'm gonna hit the road," Pidge called. She was at the entranceway, slipping on her shoes. 

"Wait, I have a quick question." Hunk made his way over and eyed the girl with a knowing look. "What you did probably _really_ bothered Lance, I mean... I haven't seen him that riled up in _months,_ like, before graduation, when Keith was bugging him. And speaking of Keith, Lance trusted you with that stuff! Why were you disrespecting the system?"

Pidge only smirked and pushed up her glasses, almost giving them that intellectual glint from the light. "No worries, Hunk. No worries..." 

She slipped on a mask, turned on her heel, and shut the door behind her. Her hair stood up on her skin as the cold filled her lungs. Pidge predicted that it might snow, the icy wind attacking her bundled and layered outfit. 

Even though it may have been cold as fuck, she still had a shit-eating grin as she began her walk back to her house. 

All she knew was, it wasn't Santa's elves that put the mischievous plant there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally.


	11. Bag of Chips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance explained.

"You forgot your pizza." 

"Yeah, well, _someone_ was in a rush." Keith unbuckled his seatbelt, smiling affectionately despite his tone. He knew that he was going to go back to his dorm, but it would be different. 

Every night, Keith would trudge back to his room and dread every step because of the inevitable. He would walk through the door, realize that he was still achingly alone, and ultimately end up in a sobbing heap. Then the student would wake up, and restart the process, over and over again. 

But when he met Lance again, he recognized that he didn't have a reason to cry. Or at least, he didn't have a reason to feel _alone._ He knew that there were plenty of other problems he had to work through and figure out, but with Lance, it felt like the waves were finally calmer, more tranquil. It felt like he could focus more on what he needed to do. 

On that particular night, Keith finally wouldn't resent his room for being a place where he cried and wished himself to fall asleep and never wake. Instead, he would only have trouble sleeping because of the bubbling excitement he felt. 

Lance rolled his eyes as the student cracked the car door open. "What are you going to eat then?" he asked. 

"There's a vending machine, right outside the dorms. It'll be enough until morning." 

Lance made that face again, the one Keith couldn't read. "Are you serious?" 

Keith nodded his head, about to leave, not that he wanted to. "I'll be fine."

As soon as he shifted in his seat to go, he heard an exasperated sigh and some muttering before a hand shot out and shut the car door. "Christ, Keith... How you've made it this far is a mystery to me." 

"Why did you-"

"Because who has a bag of chips and calls it _dinner?"_

"I do?"

Lance furrowed his brows. "Wait. You don't eat that _every_ night, do you?"

"I mean... It gets late, and I don't want to eat the food they serve here. Chips are fine." 

Keith had the food his college served, and it was like eating fast food, except every night. It was also pricey for him, so he settled on the good old vending machine. Keith knew that it offered no nutritional value, but the student still felt full afterward, _and_ it was cheaper. Their breakfast food was the only thing he'd have to gorge on to survive and get some sustenance. 

Lance just shook his head, baffled. "That's it, just... stay here." He fished out his phone from his pocket, unbuckled, and left the vehicle before Keith could ask what he was doing. All he could see was the boy scrolling through his phone until he made a call. 

Keith decided not to listen to the conversation, mostly because Lance left the car for a reason.

He used his time to wonder. How did _any_ of that happen?

Keith was certainly not expecting the kiss because he didn't think Lance would even _dream_ of kissing him. He had thought that the boy also specified that they would be friends, and Keith was comfortable with that. He was comfortable knowing that he could at least be closer than he was to him.

But then, a plant happened, a prankish one. 

Lance could've ignored it, but he didn't. Even though he seemed like the person to follow that Christmas tradition, Keith couldn't have imagined that Lance would do it with _him._ The guy who had bothered him, annoyed him, teased him all through high school _and_ after. 

How did Lance even like him? He could only leave that to wonder.

There was a mix of emotions progressing through him; happiness, excitement, and maybe the slightest bit of worry. 

Keith always worried that if he ever got into a relationship, it would ultimately end, some way, and somehow. The student thought that way because of the past examples he saw, how all of them lasted about a week before they ended horribly. But that was high school.

Even so, Keith taught himself never to get high hopes for something, _anything,_ only so he wouldn't be as disappointed if it ended. That was his system, his process of thinking. He always assumed the worst, and he would admit that perhaps it wasn't the best way for him to think. But at least, it was unquestionably better than feeling hurt and betrayed for expecting and hoping just a bit too much. 

Selfish... 

Keith's luck was being too good to be true. But, dammit, if he wasn't going to savor it while he still had the chance. He liked Lance, and Lance liked him, and for some reason, he couldn't wrap his head around that slim possibility. How long had Lance been interested in him? Keith thought that, yes, he had been oblivious to some things in his life. But he assumed that he could at least tell if someone had mutual feelings. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the car door suddenly opening, nearly making the student jump. Of course, it was only Lance climbing back inside. 

"Okay..." he sighed. "That was my mom. You're eating dinner at our place. It's already decided."

"What?"

"Yeah, I had to explain to her that you literally eat _chips_ every night, and she couldn't believe it."

"I can... I can still go and pick up the pizza's at Hunk's place. You don't have to-"

"Nope. While I love Hunk's cooking and _especially_ his pizza, I think that he would honestly emphasize the importance of the food pyramid to you after I would explain that you eat actual junk," Lance said, shutting the door and buckling right back up.

"But, that would mean I would be eating your food for two nights then."

"Yes, mullet, and before you worry about it, because I can already _see_ it behind those beautiful eyes, it's _f_ _ine._ You don't have to stew about it."

Keith tried desperately not to freak out over a simple compliment, but he couldn't help it. He could feel the warmth spreading across his face, and he couldn't find the words to reply to that. Speechless, but so immensely happy. 

He pretended to graze over it and change the subject. "I have a question."

"Why didn't you just ask the question then?"

"...Good point," Keith mumbled. "I was just wondering... _why_ do you like me? Because no one's ever done... _that,_ before." 

Right when Lance stopped at a stoplight, he turned to Keith and squinted. Then eventually just shook his head again. "I seriously can't believe you." 

"What? What did I say _now?"_

"You really don't know? I can't ever tell if you're messing with me."

"No, I guess I don't? And I also guess my questions weren't enough for you to realize that."

Lance heaved another sigh as the light turned green. "There were _so_ many people who were interested in you. That's why I was totally caught off guard when you said you didn't have any experience."

Keith had to picture himself back in high school and reflect on anyone he interacted with, which he found only jerks who provoked him to no extent, aside from Lance. "But that can't be true."

"How would you know, Mr. Lone Wolf?"

"Everyone was annoying, except you!"

"Okay, everyone 'annoyed' you because that was literally the only way they could talk to you. Otherwise, you weren't having it. I know that from direct experience," he explained. "It's like... you wanted to push them away."

It made no sense to Keith. There were a lot of kids who wanted to pick some pretty awful fights. So many did that Keith almost got expelled _twice_ because of them. If Lance was saying others hated him for wanting to be left alone, how was that fair? He could only presume Lance meant the ones who didn't take it to those extremes and gladly let the loner be. 

That was all he could do. "I... I guess I never knew that."

Then there was only silence, aside from the car noise that Keith was growing more and more used to as he spent time with Lance. He slowly began to grin to himself as he realized that he would remember that that was where his first kiss was. He never knew when or where that would ever occur, but for it to be in a car at night was something he was content with for some odd reason. 

"I didn't answer your question," Lance said, pulling into a spacious driveway. He let it follow to a stop, turned off the car, and retracted his keys. He looked at Keith, and it was an expression that the student recognized as shy, a small smile gracing his features. His heart began to flutter all over again.

"I liked you for a while, to be honest. When we first met, not really, but something... changed," he said. "Even though we had so many arguments, fights, I kept wanting that, and I didn't know why. I thought that it was our norm. Something that we just _did."_

"I found myself _wanting_ to talk to you, even if it was about your stupid hair, or even if it was about your math homework that I would tease you about," he explained, taking in Keith's fond smile as encouragement. "But then, when graduation was coming closer, I thought, _'damn,_ I'm actually gonna miss that idiot.' I couldn't believe what I was thinking."

"I liked you... a lot. And it took me a while to realize that. But it also took me a while to get over that. Because graduation happened, and I didn't... I didn't do anything about it."

Holy shit... Keith felt the same way. 

"I didn't either," he said, more like confessed. "And I regret it."

Even though it sounded like a bitter statement, and it technically was, it was still soft-spoken. Both of the students sat there in quietness once more. They were busy accepting that they both liked each other without the other's knowledge for the same length of time, a long time, at least to them. That time they could've spent together, the college's being different or not. 

Then Lance had this gradual smile, spreading across his plump lips. Keith caught it out the corner of his eye, entranced like he always was. He could even see the slightest hint of a dimple on one of his lightly freckled cheeks. Beautiful.

The boy exhaled, almost as if he was letting everything go. He finally turned to the student and bluntly affirmed, "Well, then... We're just mutual idiots."

Keith couldn't have agreed more. 


	12. Sucker Punch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith wasn't proud of what he did. He still isn't.

"He's such a jerk!"

"Lance, the librarian will hear you," Pidge practically hissed. It was supposed to be a calming study session after school with their two best buds, but of course, something happened that day with _Keith._ Pidge never spoke to the student, but she knew almost everything about him. How? _Lance._

Luckily, there weren't any tutors that day since it was a Friday, and the librarian was conveniently absent from their desk. But Pidge had an inkling that they _always_ listened, someway, somehow. She was waiting for the "shhh!"

"Honestly, I don't even care anymore. I'd rather quit school than sit next to _him_ every day for the rest of the year."

"Then why not just move seats?" Hunk asked. Great question.

"I already asked the teacher if I could switch with someone, but he wouldn't let me. Said, 'you're gonna have to get used to people like Keith in the real world,'" he mocked. "There's no one like that _mullet_ in the real world!"

Pidge smirked. "So you're saying he's one of a kind?"

The boy sighed and rolled his eyes. "For the last time, I don't have feelings for- for that-"

"Can you be _quiet?"_

All three turned to see none other than James Griffin. The very last person that anyone there wanted to see. It wasn't that he was the absolute worst of the worst in school. He was naturally just... irritating. If Pidge recalled, he picked a fight with Keith as well, earning a nasty sucker punch. His lower lip stuck out like a sore thumb, swollen because of the glaring split.

In all honesty, he probably deserved it. 

"You know what? I probably can, James," Lance said. "But I'm not going to, if that's what you're asking."

"You know what I meant. Just shut up already."

Lance was already high strung because of a particular mullet boy, and the last thing he needed was _James_ telling him what to do. He may not have liked Keith, but if there was anyone he genuinely despised, it was the boy in front of him. "No!" he said, glaring at him. "You're really one to talk about 'being quiet.' You run your mouth all the time. That's probably why Keith busted your lip in the first place."

The library was a pretty spacious place with a bunch of tables lined up and surrounded by bookshelves. Every table that had been occupied by other afterschool students had their attention on the commotion. 

"You don't know _anything,_ Lance! Just stop bitching about that idiot. If you think about it, you're no different from him."

"And how is that?"

"Both of you are hotheaded for _no_ reason at all, and not to mention fucking _dense._ And you can't forget the most important likeness of all..." James said, smirking smugly like the absolute asshole he was, _"...Fatherless."_

But before James could revel in the awful shit that he said, it was as if Keith came out of nowhere. His gloved hands gripped the other's shirt and _yanked,_ dragging James out of the library with what looked like ease. As soon as he left the room, everyone clambered out of their seats to see what he would do. 

Everyone except Lance, Hunk, and Pidge, all three of them, stunned. 

If Lance only knew what James meant then. If only he knew what he meant by "fatherless" for Keith. It wasn't indifference or a divorce, like he assumed, sitting in the library. 

It wasn't like Lance's situation. Not at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a short chapter. But to make it up I have a horrible poem that I made. I considered turning it in as one of my assignments but decided against it in the end. 
> 
> Clickity-clack, 
> 
> my assignments are back. 
> 
> Oh, great, 
> 
> I can't fucking wait. 
> 
> Tapity-tap,
> 
> another one, s n a p .
> 
> Oh, geez,
> 
> someone help, please.
> 
> Bipity-bop,
> 
> this needs to stop.
> 
> Oh, s h i t ,
> 
> time to submit!
> 
> Flippity-flop,
> 
> I eventually drop. 
> 
> ...
> 
> Oh, wait,
> 
> something else is late.
> 
> Eh, fuck it, I give up.


	13. Nani

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What?

Hunk and Lance looked at Pidge, confused as to why she was laughing. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just... James's face was like that one dude in that anime, _'Nani?!'_ And where the fuck did Keith come from?" she said in between fits of laughter. 

It was true. No one saw Keith enter or leave the library. Perhaps it was because they were all too busy with James to realize it, or he was in there the whole time. 

And that was when the realization of what was happening hit Lance. 

"Lance... Are you okay?" Hunk asked. He knew that the boy never wanted to talk about his father. But that wasn't what was going through Lance's head at all. It was Keith. Stupid, Keith. 

"That mullets gonna get expelled!" Lance said, scrambling out of his seat just like the other kids did. 

"What? I thought you wanted him gone?" Pidge asked, feigning confusion. She knew what was going on between the two boys. Well, not what was going on, more like what was going to happen. How could she not? Even though she never spoke to the mullet boy, she noticed the way he looked at Lance. She also witnessed the way he looked at him when the boy wasn't looking.

The first look; pinched brows, a sulky frown, a hunched back on some days, and common glares as the two argued. The second was the complete opposite. It was like a look of longing. The expression that Pidge saw in movies; the cheesy dopey smile that they had on their face, but it was still stupidly hopeless in a way. 

It kind of bugged her to watch it. Or really, to watch Lance day in and day out not accepting his feelings, denying them, and Keith that wasn't making a single move or mention, none that Lance told her about anyway. 

"I never said I wanted him _gone._ I said that I didn't want to sit next to him. Big difference." 

And he was out of the room. 

Pidge sighed and shook her head. Maybe one day, if an opportunity arose, she would not force the two together. But push them, only a little. 

* * *

It was an honest struggle to get out of the library, the door pushing people forward into the packed hallway. Lance could hear Keith's voice over the crowd of others. Despite his height, he still couldn't see what was going on. He tried to shimmy his way through people sliding in between openings and tapping people on shoulders to move. 

When he finally made it to the front, he could see Keith reel his gloved fist back. "You gotta be kidding me-" Lance muttered, hooking his arms around Keith's. He was surprised at how strong he was, nothing but solid muscle. When Keith realized, he began to struggle and attempt to shrug off, but Lance wasn't ever letting go. 

"Keith, just calm down!" he said. "This is ridiculous."

Keith, finally recognizing who it was, practically froze, giving Lance plenty of opportunity to drag him from the circle of mixed boos and cheers.   
James looked relieved as Lance dragged the mullet down the hall.

* * *

"Why are you like this?"

"Like what?"

"I mean, he didn't do anything to you!"

"Did you not hear what he said?"

"Okay, but you didn't have to literally drag him and take him outside like- like a trash bag."

"He's not that far off from that comparison."

"Keith..." Lance sighed. "What I'm trying to say is that you took it too far."

They both were sitting on a park bench, not too far off from school. It was a bitch getting the mullet out there, but he figured it would help. People would walk by every few minutes, but otherwise, it was mostly silent aside from the two. 

"What else was I supposed to do? Just listen to _that_ and ignore it?" 

"I'm not saying that you should ignore it. It was just... too far." Lance didn't know how else to describe it. "Think about it like this," he said, "You don't need to waste your time or energy on someone like James. He isn't worth it, the anger. But he wants that, provokes it, so why feed into it?"

Keith wasn't looking at Lance, only stubbornly at the gravel path below, thinking. After a few moments, he let out a long breath. "That's... a calmer way of thinking, I guess."

The boy smiled at the sound of his voice. It was tired and reluctant. Lance never thought of himself as someone good at giving advice. That was why he always envied Shiro, a family friend, and his ways of knowing the right thing to say at the right time. He was the one that told him about the worth-thing in the first place. 

"But don't get me wrong, it's not easy to realize that in the moment. Like when I was talking back to him. I was mad too."

His deep dark eyes lifted from the gravel and made contact with Lance's. Most of the time, the boy had seen him scowl, so it was strange to see his expressionless face as well. He couldn't tell what he was thinking. 

"Have you ever been in a fight?" he suddenly asked. 

"Of course, I have!" Keith just looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to go on. "Um, only once though... It was when I was in elementary school, and this kid took my play-doh and mixed it with the other play-doh and then never gave it back."

And for the first time, he saw the damn mullet crack a smile. It was small, a subtle lift of the lips, but it was there. And geez... who gave him the right to look like that?

"What?" Lance asked, suddenly embarrassed for absolutely no reason. 

"Nothing..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist (but not really): Keith was that kid.
> 
> But honestly, I don't know.


	14. Negative-Nelson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hugs for Keef.

Keith would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. 

The student didn't care what others thought of him most of the time (special thanks to someone who taught him that). He didn't bother to waste his energy listening to what others said about him or their opinions. They pursued to annoy him too, and he still would've begrudgingly ignored it. That is, unless they provoked him _physically,_ then he nearly flew off the handle every time. 

But the fighting aside, first impressions weren't all that different to him either. 

Until meeting Lance's family became a sudden reality. Well, not so sudden at all. Keith _knew_ that he was inevitably going to meet them. But when he walked through the door, it finally hit him like a bag of bricks. The student was meeting Lance's _family,_ and for whatever reason, his nerves decided to kick in while Keith was greeting all nine members. Or at least _trying to._

"Uh..." he dumbly mumbled, looking around the room, mind regrettably blank. 

But of course, Lance had his back. "Guys, this is Keith," he said, placing a hand on said student's shoulder. He stiffened only for a moment at the sudden contact. 

Lance gestured to each member, "This is my mom, Pop-Pop, my brothers Luis and Marco, my sisters Rachel and Veronica, sister-in-law Lisa, and my niece and nephew Nadia and Silvio."

"Hi," he said, cracking a small but genuine smile. "Thank you for having me."

"Lance said that you were worried about coming over," Lance's mother said, gesturing to the coat rack to which Keith complied. 

"Ah, yeah. I thought that maybe I was intruding somehow...?" 

"No, no! We like having guests over, but of course, we ask them to take tests beforehand now. And we have hand sanitizers in almost every room, so help yourself." She had such a warm and authentic smile that it was difficult not to return it. She also had very kind eyes, just like Lance's. 

"Thank you." The student instantly went to the hand sanitizer as almost everyone else went into the kitchen, aside from the kids, greeting Keith along the way. 

Lance was grinning with that dopey smile of his, shucking off his jacket and hanging it accordingly. "You don't have to be so shy, Keith..." he mumbled. 

But before Keith could deny it, Nadia asked, "Do you know how to play Mario Kart?" 

Keith nodded, "Yeah. I'm pretty good at it too."

"Well, you haven't beaten me yet, so..." Lance said, jokingly. "And what does it matter if Keith can play? You guys are supposed to be in bed!" 

"But Silvio can't sleep without a story. And you promised!" 

"Hey, you want stories too!" Silvio said. 

"Alright, both of you, upstairs, and pick a book." 

Keith was surprised that they listened for some reason. He didn't have any siblings or nieces or nephews. But from what he knew from other kids in high school that did, they made them out to be unruly and the most obnoxious things plaguing the planet. But Silvio and Nadia were nothing of the sort. 

"I'll be right back. You can just hang out in the living room, or chat in the kitchen or something." Lance made his way upstairs while Keith awkwardly looked around, wondering what to do with himself. 

He made his way to what he could assume was the living room, Christmas stuff decorated tastefully throughout the room. 

But, there were also plenty of pictures. There were lots of family photos on the walls, some on the bookshelves. When he looked closer, he could barely recognize the Lance that was in them. 

Glasses. Lance wore _glasses?_ And he had braces as well. In the picture, Lance was smiling happily, surrounded by his family at a gathering. There were some people that Keith didn't recognize, or perhaps people he didn't meet yet. 

Meeting... 

If the student was honest with himself, he _was_ a little diffident and shy. Nine people, including Lance, was different for Keith, especially when he only had his father for such a short time and then became alone. 

He never met his grandparents because they passed away before Keith could meet them, and from what he knew, his dad didn't have any siblings. Or even distant relatives, which seemed so _impossible_ for Keith to understand. 

How did he have _no one?_ Everyone seemed to have at least one relative that they could rely on, or was Keith assuming too much? 

He must have. 

As for his mother's side, he was, unfortunately, but not surprisingly, clueless. 

His mother was someone that he wanted to meet when he was younger, at first out of excitement and wonder. But as he aged, it became something he wanted so desperately. It wasn't a _hope_ anymore. It was a need. Because when his father died, and no one stepped forward, he just wanted to know _why?_ Why did she leave? Why didn't she care? Or maybe she _did?_

A reason was all Keith wanted. 

He didn't know where she could be, but he always imagined that she moved on and had a new family. One that was big, with a charming home, maybe even a pet. 

A family that didn't have money problems, no eviction threats, no fake promises that it was all "okay," and no life-changing _accidents._

Despite everything, Keith wasn't mad. He was just upset and confused as to why _neither_ of his parents gave him an explanation. Maybe he didn't deserve one, he wondered. Or perhaps it would've been pointless. 

Either way, he thought that it would be better than aimlessly walking through life alone with no one there. 

But, who was he to complain? 

Keith had seen worse, much, much worse. But before the student could consume himself into another miserable state, Lance, like he always seemed to do, pulled him out of it. He didn't even hear the boy come downstairs. 

"Hey," he said, voice soft but concerned. "You okay?"

For whatever reason, Keith was so acutely aware that he could see Lance, hear him, and even touch him. The fact that Keith knew he was just _there,_ present, wasn't overwhelming, but rather, notably comforting. And asking if the student was alright was what made his eyes burn with that familiar feeling. Tears. They spilled over before he could stop it, but at that time, he didn't feel sad in the slightest. 

It wasn't like when he was a child, all alone in such a scary world. It wasn't like when he was a teen, stubbornly refusing to let anyone in but deeply needing them at the same time. And it certainly wasn't like being in his dorm room, hoping for something he thought he wouldn't ever find. 

Keith didn't know why, but it felt _good_ to cry for the first time in his life. 

And Lance... he was freaking out. 

"Oh, no, no, what's wrong? Was it too much? I _knew_ I should've checked with you more beforehand. I'm so sorry," he said, his eyes darting around the living room. "Where are the tissues?" he whispered, clearly distressed. 

"Lance."

"I-I don't know where the tissues are. Maybe we could get some-"

"Lance."

"-in the bathroom. Or maybe you need-"

_"Lance!"_

The blue-eyed boy stopped in his tracks, waiting for Keith's words. 

"I don't need any tissues. Can you just..." Keith sighed, embarrassed and nervous to ask such a stupid question. "Can we- I don't know... just hug or something? If that's allowed?"

Honestly, Keith couldn't blame the boy for looking so helplessly confused. Nonetheless, Lance wrapped his long warm arms around him. The contact sent shivers down Keith's spine, and after the tingling sensation slowly passed, he reciprocated. 

It was _relaxing._

His eyes drooped to a close, suddenly feeling tired. How could he not? Being hugged by Lance, especially when he was wearing such a soft sweater that smelled fucking amazing, made him feel so content. He unconsciously nuzzled further into his embrace. 

"What a weird way to ask for a hug though," Lance murmured. 

And Keith's eyes were open again. 

"I don't know how to ask..." His voice was equally as low as Lance's. 

The boy exhaled, and Keith could feel the gradual rise and fall of his chest. "Usually, people just do it." Keith could feel the boy's hand move from his back, soothingly rubbing his fingers against the nape of his neck. 

And that just made him feel like his knees would give out. Lance's fingers gently ran through his hair, and Keith let out a satisfied hum. 

"Even now? During a pandemic?"

"For most couples, yes."

"What if one of us gets sick or something?"

"Well, we'll just have to make sure the other gets better."

"But then we'll both be sick."

"Keith."

It took him some strength to lift his head from the warmth and blearily look at Lance. 

"Don't be a Debby-Downer."

"I think it's supposed to be a Negative-Nelson."

_"What?"_


	15. Little Spoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cuddles for Keef.

After arguing about whether or not it was "Debby-Downer" or "Negative-Nelson," which they didn't settle on an answer anyway, they moved into the kitchen. The whole family, aside from the kids, was up. It was a good vibe in the kitchen with everyone chatting about their day or nothing in particular. Keith may have still been a bit shy, but his nerves died down eventually, and he gradually began to join in while he ate his meal. 

And the food was fucking delicious. 

It was nice to have something steaming hot, recently pulled off the pan, unlike chips that were cold, loud, and tasteless after eating them for so long. Nothing compared to rice with some seasoned shredded beef and vegetables. 

He did feel bad since everyone else had already eaten, but Lance's mom assured him that it was okay. Everyone grabbed a small portion themselves after watching Keith stuff his face. 

It was such a cool moment. Everything was warm and welcoming, with some jokes and great stories, Keith could never be bored. His cheeks hurt with how much he was smiling and laughing, and it made him realize how much he needed to smile more. 

Afterward, the rest of the family retreated upstairs, saying their goodnights to Keith and even some thank yous. The only person that didn't go was Lance's mother, to which Keith thanked (a lot). He offered to help out and clean, but again, she said that it was fine, just like Lance did all the time. But as she picked up the rest of the dishes, she noticed both of the boys getting ready to head out.

"Whoa, wait. Where are you two going? Lance, it's dark out. I don't like you driving at night."

Keith exchanged a questioning look with Lance. Of course, he didn't want to leave, but where else would he go if Lance couldn't drive?

She chuckled a little at both of their faces and explained, "Keith, you can just stay here. The Christmas party is technically tomorrow anyway."

"But, I don't have any clothes."

"Just wash those tonight and borrow some of Lance's, I know he has plenty." 

And that was how Keith ended up in Lance's bedroom, wearing his clothes. He wore a soft baggy t-shirt with some comfortable sweatpants, which were plenty better than what Keith wore to bed regularly. 

But what he couldn't get over was how the clothes smelled just like Lance. Keith thought that yes, maybe it was weird to be hyper-focused on that small detail. But if he closed his eyes, it was almost as if Lance was wrapped around Keith, hugging him like he did, comforting and warm, except in more places than one. 

He tried to focus his attention elsewhere, not wanting to get another surprise, and eventually lock himself in a bathroom again. 

Keith had already brushed his teeth since Lance had disposable toothbrushes and "little toothpaste bottles" whenever the family traveled. While he finger-combed through his hair in the mirror, he noticed how angry he looked, just by default. 

So Lance wasn't lying back then when he told him he had a "resting-bitch-face." 

It wasn't like Keith looked in the mirror often. He chose not to most days because he regretted the few he did. The poor college student had pretty bad undereye bags, and Keith was so pale from not getting any sunlight that his veins were showing on his face. It wasn't too noticeable from far away (at least he hoped), but he was still self-conscious about them. 

He was already naturally unapproachable, and to look like someone who hadn't slept in decades and hated everything around him didn't help. 

Keith touched the soft fabric of his shirt, still looking into the mirror. He pulled it up to reveal his torso, paler than any other part of his body, and the softest. 

Keith was pretty healthy in high school. He'd try to exercise as much as he could, and he even had to walk to school every day. And of course, the school had three fucking floors, so he was always climbing up and down, continuously being active throughout the day. 

That is, until college became a thing. 

His classes were mostly online, which wasn't so bad and gave him plenty of time to exercise if he did them earlier, but honestly, he just lost motivation to do it. And he was compromising all the time, thinking that the supermarket was his form of exercise, so there was no point. 

But when he was looking into the mirror, there _was_ a purpose. He lost most of his muscles, but he wasn't as thin as Lance. He did gain a bit of weight, earning a small pudge of fat in some areas. 

The more Keith looked, the more conscious he was of all the things he figured he didn't care about anymore. 

He heard the shower stop in the next room and pulled back down his shirt, exhaling, noting to ignore the mirror for the rest of his stay there. Keith tried to focus on where he was going to sleep. He concluded the floor, the most obvious answer. He rested his head on the floor beside the bed, laying on his side, and eventually drifting off to the sound of an electric toothbrush, muffled by walls and doors. 

* * *

Lance made his way out of the bathroom, breath minty fresh, and body clean. He noted that Keith said he would take a shower in the morning in the guest bathroom, even though it took a lot of convincing the guy that it was okay. 

And yeah, they had a guest bedroom and bathroom. 

But... Lance didn't want Keith to be by himself. How could anyone blame him? The mullet was crying in the living room while looking at Lance's family pictures, and he even asked for a hug, which Lance so desperately wanted to give him for the longest time. Keith _needed_ affection. He also needed to know that it was okay to do certain things. He could embrace, kiss, talk, tease, joke, even argue with Lance whenever he wanted to. 

Lance would do anything to see Keith smile. 

When he was surrounded by his family in the kitchen and laughing, _smiling,_ Lance couldn't take his eyes off him. It was mesmerizing to watch his lips curve into a beautiful grin. Lance noticed that he didn't do that as often anymore, so he was glad that he was having fun. 

He opened his bedroom door and expected to see Keith chilling and watching movies since Lance told him he could pick whatever and watch it on his monitor. It took a lot of assurance on Lance's part, but the mullet said he would. 

But he wasn't. 

Lance didn't even see him in the room. It was dark and silent. 

Still, he ventured into the room. Perhaps Keith was trying to prank him or something? Or he could've went downstairs. But Lance turned on his bedside lamp, glancing around the room, straining his ears. 

He could barely hear the sounds of soft, even breaths. The boy made his way around his bed and saw Keith lying on the cold hard floor, no blankets or anything, sleeping peacefully despite the fact.

"Are you kidding me, mullet?" he whispered. It may had been Lance's fault for not specifying where he was going to be sleeping. But even if he said it _would_ be on the floor, he would never let Keith sleep with _nothing._ Lance's original plan was the bed for the mullet, and he would sleep on the floor, which would've taken lots of reassurance, but he wanted Keith to be comfortable. 

Still, Lance fondly sighed and got onto his knees. 

"Keith?" he whispered, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. 

The student hummed a little, still in between that realm of sleep and awakeness. 

"Keith, you have to get up for a bit."

The student gave a deep breath and slowly blinked open his eyes, and Lance was glad only the bedside lamp was on. It was much warmer and much less abusive on the eyes. 

"Why...?" Keith asked. His voice was already riddled with sleepiness and a bit of confusion, which Lance thought was kind of adorable. 

"Cause you're sleeping on the floor, buddy." 

"But... I thought the floor was where I was sleeping."

"No, absolutely not. You're taking the bed, and I'm sleeping on the floor."

"No..." he refused, getting himself situated to go back to sleep. Lance would've also thought that part was cute, but he knew Keith needed the bed. 

Maybe... if he was comfortable enough... 

"Would you sleep there if I slept with you?" 

Keith's eyes popped open immediately. He pinched his brows together, and Lance knew that expression as his "thinking face." He turned onto his back, finally looking at Lance with tired eyes. "You don't mind?"

"No, I don't. You don't have to if you're uncomfortable with it." 

The student shook his head. "It's fine..." he mumbled, getting up off the floor, and crawling into the bed. 

It was a queen size, enough for the two of them, and enough to get cozy. Lance made his way to the other side and shut off the lamp, and following suit. 

Both of them got settled in, with Keith sighing contentedly. "Hmm, bed's real nice..." he murmured. 

"I told you," Lance whispered, smiling. 

"Can you... um- wait," Keith said, turning onto his side, back facing Lance. He scooched close to Lance, barely an inch away, and felt around for his hand. 

Ah, Lance understood. 

He rested his arm around Keith's torso. "You just wanted to be the little spoon." 

"I didn't ask this time."

Lance huffed a small laugh, nuzzling his head against Keith's pillow. 

"Good job, Keith."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nuu, Keef, don't sleep on the floor.
> 
> And thank you for reading this far, or really, reading it at all. Thank you for your comments as well, they're all really sweet. ♡


	16. Mariah Carey Cliche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both of them get gifts.

Keith took a deep breath, like he always did when he woke. His eyes remained shut, stubbornly trying to ignore the light he could feel peeking through the curtains. It was almost like every other morning. 

Except it wasn't. 

The pillow was soft, perfect for his horrible sleeping posture. The sheets were smooth and silky to the touch, easily sliding against his skin as he moved his legs to get more of a feel. There were also blankets atop the cooling sheets, thick to keep him warm but breathable enough for his body. But they weren't as warm and weren't as comforting as the lean arm slung around his torso, holding him close, but not too close. 

Keith knew who it was, and he couldn't have been happier at that moment. He could hear his breaths, too steady and even for him to be as awake as Keith was. 

Keith took another deep breath, finally opening his eyes. Surprisingly, it wasn't as bright as he thought it would be. From his position, Keith squinted through the curtains of the window. It looked like light grey clouds shrouded the sky, and when he looked a little harder, he saw snow feathering its way down, gently. 

It was Christmas Eve. 

Oh, _shit,_ it was Christmas _Eve._

Keith's once tranquil happy-place, completely disintegrated once he realized he didn't get a gift for Lance. For Lance, the special someone who gave him everything he ever wanted, and it wasn't even Christmas. He felt his stomach sink, thinking about Lance's face drop into a depressed frown when he realized Keith didn't get him _anything._ What kind of boyfriend was Keith?

_Selfish._

He flipped to his other side, slowly, not wanting to wake Lance. He saw how peaceful he looked, asleep and entirely unaware of the inner turmoil that Keith was experiencing. 

It wasn't like the student wanted to leave, especially when he knew how crappy it was to wake up alone. And it would be confusing for Lance and not to mention rude for up and leaving without telling anyone where he would be going. 

That brought up another question: _where would Keith even go?_

Where would he even get a gift for the boy? 

He didn't know the area at all, and he couldn't walk the highway back. 

Well... he technically could. But Lance yelled at him when he tried to do that before, but perhaps he would understand if he knew why Keith had to go in the first place. 

Lance deserved a gift, actually, even _more_ than a simple gift. Even so, Keith knew that he would appreciate it, no matter how cheesy it would be. 

It may have been snowing out, but that wasn't going to stop him. If he wanted to get that gift, he had to get ready, pronto. 

All of a sudden determined, he tenderly kissed Lance's forehead, so soft that it wouldn't wake him up. 

Or at least, that was what Keith thought. 

"Keith..." he mumbled, clearly drowsy and barely awake. His arm pulled the said person even closer, body to body. 

He was trapped, trapped in a precious hold. 

But dammit, that wasn't the reason why Keith couldn't leave him. He couldn't leave Lance, not when he was unaware, not when the boy didn't know where Keith would be going, and not when Keith knew that he would wake up _alone._ And knowing Lance, he would think he would also be worried, just as the student would be if Lance decided to walk _miles_ in the cold winter snow to get him a present. 

And Keith already had his gift. 

"You got me," Keith whispered. 

Lance hummed, cracking open his eyes from the sound of his voice. 

"M'what...?" 

The student smiled and almost laughed at how confused he sounded. He looked like he was about to crash all over again. 

"What do you want for Christmas?" Keith asked. 

Even though Lance's eyes were barely open, it still looked like he was squinting at Keith, his face shifting into a perplexed expression. 

"Asking me on Christmas Eve?" 

"Uh... yeah... I'm sorry."

"Oh, Keith..." he mumbled. "How do you not know?"

"I know that I should, but... I don't." 

"You want to know what?"

Yes! The moment Keith had been waiting for, the answer that would make him jump from bed to get him anything it was, the final-

"All I want for Christmas... is _yoooooooouuu, babyyyy."_

"Lance."

"Hm?"

"I was serious."

"So was I."

"How?"

"I want _you._ That's all," Lance said, and despite his lovey-dovey grin, Keith could tell he was telling the truth. It was as if it was so easy for Lance to say. "And if anything, the real question is, what do _you_ want, Keith?"

What did _Keith_ want? 

At first, all that Keith could think about was getting Lance a gift, anything. But Lance had to go and make it cheesy, and Keith all flustered on the inside. Even so, the answer was just as simple as Lance made it out to be, and the student sighed, burying his face into the boy's chest. He was so unbelievably happy but abashed that he had to say something so cliche. 

"...you."

"I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you properly."

"You _did_ hear it."

"Keith, everything is fuzzy in the morning."

"Well, that's too bad."

"I really didn't hear you. You're gonna have to-"

"I said _you!_ It's _you!"_

"Oh well, why didn't you just say so?"

Despite the teasing, Keith could honestly admit that that morning was probably the best morning he ever had. 


	17. Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hmm.

The shower was a place where Keith didn't worry about anything. He could only hear and feel the water, running, dripping, and pounding against his body. Keith may have been standing, but the student refused to acknowledge it or pinpoint it. If he could, he would be floating. He could breathe in and smell the subtle fragrant soap that he was gradually rinsing off of himself. All of it was a distraction from any inner agitation, taking control of all his senses, of course, except taste. It was like meditation in most ways. It was a time away from where he was in reality. 

Just like how his mind was empty and blank, so was his sight. It was pitch black, zero to shape out, zero to identify. 

Well, he wasn't literally in the dark. His eyes were just closed. 

After thoroughly washing himself of any suds, he began to slowly focus on the pressure of standing on his own feet again. He opened his eyes, taking in the sight of the faucet, the faucet that he struggled with before for about ten minutes. It was completely different from the showers back at his college, and not just function-wise. It was pristine, so pristine that he felt nervous just being within the doorway of the guest bathroom. But, as always, Lance assured him once again, "You can do almost anything you want, mullet. It isn't like there are going to be consequences if you use the bathroom."

Keith knew that. It was only different for him. He assumed that it was perhaps because of his days as a foster kid. In each home that Keith stayed in, there were different rules and restrictions. 

Only one or two were pretty lax, and even though Keith preferred those kinds more, there were situations where it was too hands-off. For example, they would let him do whatever he wanted. Keith could leave the house for days even, and they wouldn't have been the least bit concerned. But if he got hurt while trying to learn everything the hard way, like he usually did, and called for help, they would ignore him. Even so, they would neglect him anyways, hurt or not. It reminded him that it was his decision, which, later on, it felt like it was his fault. 

But despite that, the strict few were Keith's least favorite. One family even pointed out several rules and the details of each. Of course, it wasn't as if Keith could magically remember them, and being the stubborn kid he was, he refused. And as a result, he was punished, already breaking rule number one. He didn't eat for an entire day. When he complained, he broke rule number two, earning himself a mouthful of soap for a solid two hours. When he tried running away and couldn’t find his way, he returned, only to discover that they locked him out of the house for an entire night and morning. Each time, it felt like it was his own doing. 

Again, every home was different, and most were great, going above and beyond to help Keith. He was lucky. Those were the memories that he preferred to reminisce. But his mind always dragged him back down under the thin sheet of positivity that he tried to keep together. It was like broken glass that he could only glue back together so many times before he just accepted his inevitable pessimism. 

Bad habit. 

He shut the water off, just like his thoughts, and it was quiet again. Well, almost. 

Keith could hear house noises, footsteps. It was likely to be Lance's family moving around and getting ready for the party that would start in the afternoon. 

The student opened the bathroom door after wrapping a towel around his waist, letting the warm steam from the shower rush out and the cold air rush in its place. The guest bedroom was also another place where Keith felt like he was intruding with how clean and nicely decorated it was. But he tried to shove that into the back of his mind because it was _okay._ Why else have a guest bedroom if no guests were going to use it? Lance probably would've told him that. 

He brushed his teeth, patted down his body, and moved into the bedroom where his clothes were. Keith loved having cozy clothes that smelled good and right out of the dryer. He slipped his towel off and hung it on the towel rack and-

And, well.

The door opened. 

* * *

Lance was downstairs, snatching breakfast foods off of the big plates, one by one, loading his plate. Pop-pop was the first to grab a bite, settled down in the quiet dining room, reading the news. Lance's mom and sister-in-law, Lisa, were eating there as well. Both of them were supervising Lance make breakfast the entire time, technically back-seat-cooking as well. Luis was chilling in the living room, watching some tv, wanting to wait till everyone got their servings.

And Veronica was entering the kitchen, clearly had just woken up. She rubbed her eyes behind her glasses and grabbed a mug before looking at Lance. "Geez, hungry this morning?" Veronica asked, starting up her tea. "And did you ask mom if you could use the kitchen?" 

Lance sighed and grabbed another dish, filling it with the same amount of food; eggs, sausage, toast, bacon, etcetera. 

"I don't need permission to make food for my family..." he mumbled. Veronica only added honey into her mug, patiently waiting for him to continue. "...But I did ask."

"That's good. Can't have you setting fire to the kitchen again. I'm surprised she's not watching you or something."

Oh, no, she _did._

"Can you stop bringing that up? It was an accident."

"Hell of an accident."

"Okay, grab some food and eat, or leave the kitchen! Wait- you know what? _I'll_ leave." He took both of the plates and carefully made his way to the stairs, and while on his way, two dashing kids sped right under his arms. "Nadia, Silvio, be careful!"

"But foooood," they both cheered as they disappeared beyond the archway of the kitchen. 

He let out another sigh, his energy from his morning coffee somehow leaving him, and the day hadn't even started. He resolved that he just needed some food in his system to end his increasing levels of pure crankiness. 

Lance took careful steps, watching each stair as he went up. Then he had finally made it down the hall and right at his door, but there was a problem. 

He only had two hands. 

Lance muttered under his breath as he tried to maneuver the two plates onto a single lanky arm. 

"Whoa, whoa. I already see an accident," Rachel said, shutting her door behind her. "And I also see mom scolding you for it."

"Can you please...?" he asked, desperate to get some food into his belly and feed a sleepy Keith while he was at it. 

"Breakfast in bed for him, huh?" she asked, taking the hefty plate into her hands, smirking. 

"Yeah, so what?"

"Nothing. It just proves how much you like him. I'm sure you had to convince mom to let you use the kitchen, cook a full-on breakfast for nine other people because you couldn't just cook only for you and him. It's just common courtesy," she explained. "But you went through all that just to cook him something yourself and give it to him."

Lance just squinted at her, and he _refused_ to confirm or deny her claims. He opened the door, set his plate on his desk, and snatched Keith's from her. "Whatever. Because of you, the food's getting cold," he said, shutting the door in her face. 

The boy gave one last, _final_ sigh before turning, expecting to see Keith lying comfy on the bed, catching some more z's. That alone could've honestly made him feel better, just catching a glimpse of that, food or no food. 

But there was no one. 

"Are you kidding me?" he asked himself, checking to the other side of the bed, only to see if the mullet was sleeping on the fucking floor again. Which, he wasn't. 

Okay, Lance figured he must've been in the guest shower. But, he heard no water running, and about two hours had passed, so how long could he have possibly needed to shower? Lance knew that it depended on when Keith got up, but it was still kind of worrying. Lance never got to ask him why he locked himself in Hunk's bathroom before, and neither of his friends brought it up either. 

He glanced towards the desk. Food was getting cold. 

So, Lance made his way down the hall and knocked on the door, confident at first. But then, he didn't get a reply. "Uh, Keith? You alright?" he asked. 

Again, no reply. Lance couldn't hear a thing. 

He placed his hand on the knob, about to open it himself, until he felt the knob turn. There he was, fully dressed in his clothes, and his hair was still a little damp. 

"Sorry... I was just changing, and I was done, so..." he trailed off, his fingers fidgeting with his gloves. "I smell breakfast." 

Weird... 

"Um, yeah... It's in my room." 

"Thank you," he said, giving him a crooked grin. The student made his way down the hall away from Lance, who was standing there, confused. He glanced into the room, walking into it and checking it, even under the bed. 

Nothing... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who done it?


	18. Expect the Unexpected, Lance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp.

Something wasn't right. 

Something most definitely wasn't right. 

Lance was munching on his breakfast, staring at Keith, quite possibly not even tasting the food. 

Cause something was wrong. And if there wasn't something wrong, then there was something Keith wasn't telling him. So, he thought maybe he could try and ease into it.

Lance, of course, wanted to know about that morning and Keith's... behavior? But he had to _guide_ the conversation to that point since he also wanted to know about the _first_ bathroom incident. 

"Hey, mullet," he said, crisscrossing his legs on the floor and resituating himself. "I forgot to ask that day... but what were you doing in Hunk's bathroom?" 

Okay, maybe he wasn't "easing" into it. He couldn't help it! He just wanted to know. Keith had never been in a relationship before, and Lance figured communication for him was different. He wanted to know if being blunt and confronting something was a good move, or tenderly getting into the subject for Keith was the way to go. 

The student sitting across from him was munching on some toast (looking adorable) until he stopped mid-chew. Lance knew that look. He was _thinking,_ but thinking of what? Was he thinking of a way to lie? Lance didn't know how to spot Keith's lies cause Keith was never the lying type. He wasn't squirming or fidgeting, and it didn't look like he was sweating bullets, only pondering. 

He eventually swallowed and mumbled, "I... I don't know how to tell you." 

Oh, God, what was it? Lance could tell that it was difficult for Keith, just by the sound of his voice and his expression. He almost looked... shameful. Keith didn't want to lie to Lance, which was great. But he was struggling to answer, and Lance's pit of worry in his chest grew tenfold. 

He wanted to help him, but he couldn't force him to say something he didn't want to say. "You don't have to say it if it makes you uncomfortable. You can tell me whenever you want."

"I know, it's just... I feel bad about not answering. It feels like I'm keeping something from you when I don't want to. And I don't think that's good for relationships... right?"

Oh, Keith... 

"Well, yes. And what's great is that you told me how you felt, and that's already one step towards good communication," Lance said, taking Keith's hand in his. "And since you told me, I know that you don't want to keep it from me, and that's why you can tell me whenever you feel ready to." 

"I-it's not like it's _serious,_ or anything. It's just embarrassing."

"Pfft, I've heard plenty of embarrassing things before. I'm sure this couldn't phase me."

Keith still looked very apprehensive, but he leaned in close to the shell of Lance's ear. It was cute because they were in a room alone together, but he felt like he needed to-

"You unintentionally made me hard."

And Lance's mind had _officially_ stopped working at 10:49 AM that day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, this fic is just a journey for me.


	19. Horrible Puns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do bad puns lead to...?

Lance didn't know what he was expecting to hear. 

But he wondered if it was any of his business to begin with after the fact.

When he heard that it was "embarrassing," that was a bit of a relief for him. It was much better than what he thought happened. 

So, he then figured maybe Keith was fixing his appearance or something for fifteen minutes. Or maybe, he just wanted to be alone and didn't know how to tell everyone at the time. 

Keith wasn't using the restroom, that was obvious to anyone that night, and he would've just said that he was if that was the case. 

But, no. 

No, no, no. Lance couldn't have been further from those theories. 

He was sitting on the floor in his room across from Keith, stunned, slowly digesting the words he heard. He didn't know how to reply to that, and he didn't know what expression to make. He couldn't come up with any joke to ease discomfiture between the two. 

Because he was internally processing the fact that he made Keith _hard,_ and Lance had no clue how he did it. 

He tried to picture that night in his head, right before Keith disappeared from Hunk's living room. He fell on top of him... and then onto the floor... and then-

_Ohhh._

Lance finally understood. Even though Keith may have looked like it was something to be ashamed of, Lance didn't have a problem with it. 

There were plenty of times where he too had just randomly gotten hard in his life, even in public, and there were times where there was a cause and times when there just wasn't. It was a common occurrence but still an embarrassing situation nonetheless, so he could sympathize with the student. 

But what stuck out for him was that _he_ made _Keith_ that way. He was the cause, the reason for it. He wasn't disgusted, he wasn't upset, and eventually, he wasn't even confused. 

Cause there was this warm feeling growing in the pit of his stomach, a knot beginning to tie itself together. Heat flooded itself throughout his body from his face, his chest, and almost to his groin before he decided to take a long, deep exhale. 

He had to stop thinking about it. He had to stop thinking about the fact that he _liked_ that he did that. 

"Uh... It happens," he said, not thinking about his words because he was focusing his energy on calming the fuck down. 

Keith's shoulders stiffened, his brows rose, and his mouth fell open to say a small, "Oh..." 

What? What was with that reaction? Lance honestly shouldn't have been the one judging anyone for that, but did he say something weird? 

Keith's gloved hand came up to awkwardly rub at the back of his neck. "I didn't know that you had that much experience."

Experience...? 

Wait. 

"No! I meant, it _happens_ , as in, getting to be-" 

_Turned on._

"I mean, _feeling_ that way happens. Heh, not that I get people-" 

_Hard._

_"that way_ all the time. I mean, honestly, this is the first time that that's, um... occurred."

Why was he getting all flustered about it? And it wasn't even supposed to be embarrassing for him! He caught his reflection in the mirror, and sure enough, his freckled cheeks had a tint of red, right where he could feel the hot sensation. Not knowing what to do with his fidgeting tendencies, he tugged on the collar of his sweater, which was getting increasingly uncomfortable to wear. He really shouldn't have layered that day. 

"But it's fine, Keith. That happens."

"Are you okay?" Keith asked, and he looked genuinely concerned. 

"Yeah! Are _you?"_

Keith frowned, squinting like he was trying to see something for himself. He lifted his hand, the back of it resting gently against Lance's forehead. 

"Whoa, you're hot."

Lance couldn't let that go. He _had_ to do it.

"Then it's good that you got your gloves on; cause I might just be too _hot to handle."_

Keith snorted, an affectionate smile making his worry dissipate. The kind of smile that made Lance inwardly celebrate. Keith lightly smacked the boy's forehead. "That was awful."

"Y'still laughed though. Honestly, it made me _melt."_

"Okay, stop."

"Some people might just say that I'm on _fire."_

"No, these are horrible, please-"

"I'm sorry, Keith. I'm only doing this because I _lava_ you-"

And Keith finally kissed the horrible pun machine, just to shut him up. Lance was surprised at first, but he eventually closed his eyes. He also couldn't help but grin against his soft lips, only for a short time before he realized how addictive those lips were, how much more he wanted. They broke only for a second before trying again, and again. He was unmistakably aware that Keith was new when it came to kissing, and they even stopped to joke about it, but that didn't last long. Lance took both of his hands in his, knowing full well that he was hesitant on where to touch him, or if he even should. He guided them to his shoulders, and they snaked around him on their own, granting them to be even closer than before. 

Hot lips glided against each other, and before Lance knew it, Keith was starting to take _his_ breath away. He was more confident, even experimenting with biting Lance's lower lip, which he did _so fucking well._ Without control, Lance let out a low hum, pulling Keith impossibly closer. The student might as well have been sitting on his lap, practically chest to chest. The sweater really did need to _go._ Warmth was washing over him, just like before except worse, or in this case, _better._ He could do something about it and _express_ it, _feel_ it from the one he was holding. He was sure that Keith could feel his heart, just like how he felt Keith's pounding, throbbing relentlessly for more, _more._

He could feel his gloved fingers curl and twist into his short brown locks, tugging _just_ enough to make Lance go crazy. In response, he tested his tongue, which the student's mouth shifted fervently, almost desperately to let Lance delve in and explore. He let the student do the same, more assured than he ever was, which was honestly sending Lance to another universe, not that they weren't already in their own together. It was on another level, a fiery, _passionate_ one, but another fucking level nonetheless. They tasted, traced, and probed from the new thrilling sensation.

At that point, both of them were in sync, letting out throaty noises, gasping for air when they parted, only to collide right back into it with warm, wet lips, tongue, and teeth. Lance wanted to see if Keith's neck was sensitive to all those things too. He trailed his loving kisses down the student's jawline and down to his pulse point, teeth only _grazing_ the area. Despite how subtle it was, Keith let out the _sexiest_ noise Lance had ever heard. 

His guess was right; he _was_ sensitive there. 

From his ears, Keith's voice traveled straight to his groin. And he wondered, _deviously,_ just how loud he could get. 

Lance continued his magic while his hands roamed Keith's narrow waist, encouraging his sounds even more. He ventured underneath the hem of his shirt, just _barely_ meeting the soft, sweet skin-

"LANCE! They're here!" his mother called from the bottom of the steps.

And their universe wasn't theirs anymore. They were back to reality. Slowly, they came down from the adrenaline, still holding each other in their arms.

"Fucking- _really...?"_ Lance managed to pant out. He glanced at the clock, surprised to see that _two hours_ had passed.

Keith rested his head on his shoulder, catching his breath, letting his arms and shoulders go slack. 

"Lance, I... I can't..." 

"I know. I can't go down there either..." Lance said, but he slowly lifted the corners of his lips. "Life's pretty... _hard."_

"...Goddammit." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried.


	20. Idiots in Love Squabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically, the title of the chapter.

"What are we going to do?" Keith asked, not even bothering to look down at his lap. 

Smirking, Lance answered, "Well, there's always a solution with these kinds of situations-"

_"Lance!_ Did you hear me?" 

"Okay, well, maybe not here," the boy mumbled before gesturing for Keith to slide off his lap, his eyes immediately spotting the distinct bulge in his pants. It was especially prominent because Keith was using his arms to support himself on the floor behind him, his legs spread open in the most enticing way without him even trying. And if the boy looked even closer, he could see the red teeth marks beginning to blossom on Keith's pretty neck, but not enough to bruise. When he saw Keith's face, flushed just as much as his own, he knew that Keith too could see his arousal with how much he was averting his eyes. 

Lance sighed another curse before reluctantly standing, tearing his traveling gaze away from the beautiful mess. He opened his bedroom door and hollered, "Uh, Keith's not really feeling well! Might take a minute!"

"What? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah! He just needs a little bit to... compose himself!" 

Lance could hear his mother muttering something like a confused "what," but he shut the door anyway. "Okay, Keith, what turns you off?" he asked, turning around only to see Keith staring sadly at his erection. 

"I guess... math. That's what I thought about at Hunk's place."

"You didn't... do the thing?" 

"What?"

"You know, the _thing."_

"No, I don't know about _'the thing.'"_

Lance sighed and made a motion with his hand, pretty much jerking the air off. 

Keith furrowed his brows, his face slowly shifting into a perplexed expression, eyes flicking between the motion and Lance. "What are you doing?" 

"How do you get my puns, but you don't get this?"

"It took me a long time to understand your random series of puns. But this... I don't know what this is. Charades?" 

"No, Keith. I was asking if you masturbated or not."

"Why didn't you just ask that then?"

"I just did!"

"Yeah, after _I_ _asked._ I think you need to work on that."

Work on what? If Keith meant being blunt about his questions, he could proudly say that he _did_ that right before their intense makeout session. If anything, they _both_ needed to work on how they asked their questions. But the more Lance thought of it, the more _ridiculous_ it was in his head how Keith needed some _requirements_ on every inquiry. What was the _deal_ with that?

"You're no better, mullet! Remember the supermarket?"

"None of that was my fault because you worded your question incorrectly."

"Oh, well, _I'm sorry,_ maybe I should reword it, perhaps revise it and edit it before I ask next time." 

"What does this have to do with masturbation?"

"I'm not even talking about that anymore. I'm talking about the way we _communicate,_ Keith. And to think, I complimented you on that."

"What do you _mean?_ _I asked you a question!"_

"But it was the _way_ you asked."

_"How??"_

"'What is this, _charades...?'"_ Lance mocked, even making an exaggerated frown to boot.

"I don't sound like that, and that isn't what I said."

"Yes, it was."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!"

_Knock, knock._

Lance gave an exasperated sigh, turning once more and opening the door. 

"What?" he asked, annoyance laced with that one word. 

But poor Lance didn't realize who it was until it was too late. It was his mother. 

"Okay, _never_ pull that tone with me. And both of you are arguing over the _stupidest_ thing I have _ever heard,_ and you should just drop it because it's not going anywhere. Now, come downstairs to see Shiro." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I don't know what this chapter is? You can just ignore it if you want.


	21. A Whirlwind of Keith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The juxtaposition.

So Keith figured that both of them were moody simply because of sexual frustration. 

He didn't know entirely too much about it, but honestly, it just _sounded_ like it fit their situation. Keith genuinely did want to go further than they did. It was perfect, merely being with someone he liked in the same room was so comforting. Surrounded by all his things, wrapped in his bed, and being wrapped up in _him_ too _._

So to take it a step further and hold each other a little tighter, closer, and connect in a way that Keith had never imagined was unreal, but so, so _good._

Keith may have been self-conscious about certain things at that moment, especially with millions of things running through his mind of what he could be doing wrong, which was the right way, and where to touch. He was worried about what he had smelled like, despite taking a shower not even thirty minutes beforehand. Keith was a little anxious about what he _looked_ like to Lance with his veins and eyebags, not to mention how he wondered how Lance _felt_ him. Wasn't he heavy sitting on his lap?

Then he wondered why he was so nervous at all, because _he_ kissed _him._ Where did all of that confidence go? Lance's silly but horrible puns only did so much. 

But, all of those pesky concerns melted away, like they usually did when being with Lance, he found. The boy understood that Keith was new to whatever went into a relationship, including the physical contact; kissing, hugging, holding hands, etcetera. But that didn't deter him in the slightest when they were just getting started. 

No, he just knew what to do to make Keith feel... fucking _confident._

It was the strangest feeling, having him guide his hands to his shoulders and, on instinct, hold him closer, naturally deepening the kiss himself. His soft lips did the same, letting him _feel_ the way they moved, glided, and opened, and when Keith was ready, he ventured onto pushing it even further. 

It took a lot of strength for him not to move his hips at that moment. They were in their world together- no, their _universe,_ and he wanted to see where it could go, what else he could experience, and only go further into that deepspace of _touch_ and _Lance._

But, realistically, it couldn't have worked out. As much as the two wanted to go that extra mile, there was just no way. There were nine people in that house, to which Keith already had been walked in on. It was an accident, of course, but still an embarrassing one. There were also more people coming that day for the party. So, overall, not the right place and not the right time to do the do. 

As a result of not being able to do what they wanted, they argued about something stupid, like they usually did with each other. By the end of it, both erections were practically nonexistent. At least the good news was that they didn't have to worry about anything as they descended the stairs to meet whoever arrived. 

Shiro... 

Where did Keith hear that name before?

It sounded familiar, but he couldn't place his finger on it. That is, until he saw the man. 

He wasn't like when he last saw him. It had been such a long time since Keith had seen that face. 

Shirogane. Takashi Shirogane. The firefighter that came to his middle school for... something like a career day? Even though the gym was _full_ of different job booths and people that wanted to tell angsty teens about the importance of doing what they loved and starting their path early, every kid had to visit _all of them._ It was like a long snake line, and each booth was one minute _exactly,_ and Keith remembered that because of his watch and how many times he checked it so he could leave as soon as possible. 

But time moved slow back then. 

After the police officer, he made it to the fireman. It wasn't that he didn't catch Keith's eye before, with his father being a former firefighter and all. And honestly, he may have been slightly interested in his pitch. 

But he didn't give one. 

He just asked the most simple but complex question: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" he asked. His smile was warm, his eyes kind, and his voice friendly. 

But none of it was fake. 

If Keith was good at anything, it was spotting people who were faking that kind of shit. It was just obvious to him, even as a kid. He figured it was because of his father, always telling him that it was okay, even though it wasn't. He couldn't hide anything, could he? 

Keith knew that he didn't mean to "fake" anything... He was only trying to make his son feel safe and happy, even in hard times and even when he couldn't explain what was going on at the time. 

He loved his dad and missed him for a lot of different things. But that... Keith probably missed the most. 

It hurt him that he was gone... It was the absolute _worst_ feeling to hear that his father died because of some stupid fire, especially when he knew that he was a _hero._ In the movies that his dad would take him to see, only once every few months, the hero _never died._ They always won and had a happy ending, and in the end, Keith would be glad that he had his dad to count on, just like in the movies. 

But... life isn't a fucking movie. 

Life doesn't care. Life throws shit everyone's way, and they take it, work with it, and deal with it. Or, they could simply give up. Keith's thought about the latter countless times, but the _fucking_ watch on his wrist. The worn leather and metal buckle was what he saw first, pausing. His dad would always unclip it at the end of the day, set it on his nightstand, and make dinner for Keith. Then he put it back on in the morning, repeating the same thing, over and over again. 

He was trying. _Trying_ to make each day better than the last, _trying_ to pay bills, _trying_ to take Keith out even when he knew the cost, _trying_ to be a good dad, and dammit... _how could Keith give up?_ How could he possibly give up when he saw all that just on his wrist? 

It may have _hurt,_ it may have been earth-shattering to know that he was alone in a matter of minutes, and it may have been crushing to see his father's grave, but he wanted to _try._

And, of course, trying was difficult. Keith wasn't a perfect kid, and he knew that no one expected him to be. But, he regretted a lot of the stuff he did as a kid. 

The biggest regret was that he refused to let anyone in. No one was his dad. That was all that ran through his head in every home. He didn't even give them a chance at the start, and that... that wasn't fair. No one was his dad, and no one was trying to replace him. They just wanted to _try_ and help. But, younger Keith didn't see it that way. 

Younger Keith rejected anyone, just like the man in front of him. Firefighter or not, he wasn't him. It wasn't fair but...

"How am I supposed to know?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, writing about Keith and his dad makes me sad.


	22. Sledding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter I think I've written.

Meeting Shiro wasn't nerve-wracking for Keith like most people were. He assumed it was because he met the man before, despite how different he looked. The most obvious difference was a blatant scar across his nose. But otherwise, he had the same friendly smile, the same kind eyes, and the same warm voice. 

And from all of those truthful things that made up Shiro, Keith could tell that he recognized him. He must have. 

Keith didn't know him for long at the time. Only for two days. But in those two days was something that he couldn't forget. 

It was when Keith finally knew, or thought he knew, what he wanted to do and where he wanted to go. Only two days where he thought the clouds would clear. Where he could talk to someone who wasn't foster-related, someone he felt that he could at least _attempt_ to trust. Cause Shiro was intuitive, curious, and annoyingly stubborn about Keith, in the most helpful way possible. 

So, he told him. He told him everything that he always wanted to say but couldn't. 

And Keith regretted it. 

As a hopeful kid, he got no response from that man, even when he promised him he would. Another person that came and went, like most in Keith's life.

But even so, he didn't address it when they both greeted each other. It wasn't awkward at all. Only straightforward so they could move on. 

If Keith was wondering anything, it was how Shiro knew _Lance_ at all. How was he there? He must've known the boy and his family for being invited into their Christmas. 

But, he never asked anyone about it, not even Lance. He only silently accepted his presence, saving his questions for another time. 

Everyone moved into the spacious living room for hot cocoa, and Keith was glad to see that Hunk and Pidge arrived safe as well. 

He was sat on the floor, a warm mug in his gloved hands, just listening to snippets of conversation here and there. He didn't join unless someone invited him into it with a curious subject. But mostly, the student preferred to sip the delicious chocolate to soothe some of his thoughts. 

Although, even amid family chatter, he couldn't help but focus more on the snow outside. It was falling gracefully, not blizzarding like he expected it would. Where they lived, snow was quite harsh and could even bite at times. 

As a kid, it was always exciting watching it fall from inside since all Keith could think about was making a snowman and even a makeshift igloo with his dad. 

Good times. 

Thinking about it, he stood up with his mug and went to the entranceway. He slipped on his shoes and jacket and took his cocoa with him, even though he knew it would probably go warm in a matter of minutes. But it was difficult to care as he made his way outside on the spacious porch, covered by roofing. It was a perfect place to sit and watch the snowfall, with no chatter or noise, not that he minded it too much. He needed some space was all. 

The cold pierced right through his jacket, as expected, his partially gloved hands gripped the mug tighter, vying for more warmth. He continued to sip, just breathing in and out, no mask. It felt different, not wearing it outside. It felt nice. 

He delved into his time alone some more before running out of cocoa and eventually running out of warmth. 

But Keith still didn't care. His eyes roamed over the large front lawn, a thick layer of snow piled over the frozen grass, perfect for creating things. Before he could even stand, he heard someone opening the front door. 

Then he caught a small, "Pst." 

He made a perplexed expression before turning to his right to find that it was only Marco, Lance's brother, taking a seat right next to him on the porch bench. Oh, no... 

It wasn't that Keith didn't like him- it wasn't that at all. It was just an awkward situation. He saw him in the living room before, but he made sure to make no eye contact with Marco whatsoever, just wanting to forget the incident.

"Hey, um... I'm _really_ sorry about this morning. I didn't mean to barge in," he said. It was genuine, and Keith could even see some guilt in his expression. 

The student was secretly hoping that he wouldn't bring it up so it wouldn't have to be awkward... But it didn't feel like the conversation was heading there, and also, they were alone.

Keith would've been alright if it was a stranger, if it was someone that he wasn't going to see again. But, his future was uncertain, especially his future with Lance. He didn't expect a relationship with him to blossom at all, but it did, and all Keith could do was hope that they would last for as long as they could. 

Which meant Lance's family was unavoidable, and the student never wanted to avoid them in the first place. They were the most welcoming and kind-hearted people Keith had ever met, so that little walk-in wasn't going to deter him in the slightest. 

So the student thought that the best thing for him to do was to forget about it, like it didn't happen. Sure, it was embarrassing, but he understood why Marco had to apologize, and it was better to accept it and move on. 

"It's fine," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "It was an accident."

"An accident?" Lance asked, poking his head out from the front door. But, as a result, two kids rushed outside, hilariously pushing him aside, fully decked out in snow gear to keep them warm. "Geez, guys, you have to say 'excuse me!'"

But his scolding fell on deaf ears as Silvio and Nadia began on their plans of creating a snowman army and snowball weapons to defeat the "evil monster," also known as Lance. 

Marco stood, taking Keith's mug, and made his way back inside. Of course, he ruffled his brother's hair while he was at it. 

Lance groaned and took his place next to the student, running his fingers through his soft brown curls. It was getting longer than what Lance preferred, but Keith thought it looked nice. 

"Anyway, what happened?" the boy asked. 

Keith gestured for him to get closer, lowering his voice so he could explain. "He kind of... walked in when I was changing this morning."

"What do you mean?"

"Lance."

"I know that you 'mean what you mean.' I'm just... I'm confused. You're saying that he-"

"Shh, lower."

The boy sighed and quieted down a little more, barely above a whisper. "You're saying he saw you... without clothes?"

Keith nodded. 

A moment. 

"Did he apologize?" 

"Yeah, of course."

"But, he was... why didn't he just apologize earlier?"

"I don't know. But, it's done, and it's forgotten."

Lance just stared at Keith for another moment longer with an expression that was... different. It was like he was pouting, almost. But it was gone as quickly as it came, shaking his head, as if dismissing some nagging thought. 

"What? What's wrong?" 

"Ah... I guess nothing," he answered as he dug through his pockets, pulling out a pair of gloves. "Here," he said, tossing them on Keith's lap. "It's cold out, and your gloves aren't functional enough for it."

_"Functional?"_

"They literally have no purpose."

"But you like them though."

"...Just put the gloves on top and be warm."

"What about you?" 

"Don't worry about me. I have pockets."

"You're gonna be tackling an army of snowmen and be pummeled by snowballs."

"That's true. But Nadia and Silvio actually wanted you to help them." 

"Me? Why?" 

Keith didn't think that he was good with kids. He had been in foster homes where there were other kids, younger, older. It didn't matter because he never got along with them. 

Even when his father was alive, he was pretty worried about Keith making friends. 

Lance sighed. "I have no clue why they want you on their side. I thought that you would've made a better monster than me."

The student was still reluctant, just staring at the gloves on his lap. 

"It's okay, Keith. You can wear them."

"No, it's just... I'm not good with kids."

"I'll be the judge of that, mullet. And it's not like I'm asking you to babysit them or anything."

* * *

Keith was such a liar. Either that, or he doubted himself, which wouldn't be surprising to Lance. 

The boy sat back in his seat, watching the wholesomeness before him.

Keith was rolling up parts of each snowman, following Nadia's orders while Silvio searched for rocks to use for their faces. It sounded like a simple task, but Keith put all of his effort into it, never ceasing to push and build. He even suggested different battle tactics like digging deeper into the snow to make trenches and utilizing it to make more cover from Lance's attacks. 

It was cute how all three of them were taking it so seriously and working so hard. But even though the team was earnest, Keith kept making sure that the kids were okay and that they weren't getting bitten by the cold. He let them know how important it was to take breaks inside and drink water or get some lunch, needing to be at full strength for the battle that would occur. 

Honestly, Lance was intimidated by the row of angry-looking snowmen and the thick walls they would use for cover, and the literal _mountain_ of ammo they had in the center. They made the front yard a battlefield. 

Luckily, he had a secret weapon. Well, two secret weapons, if he was counting the giant hill next to their house. 

* * *

"Where'd he go?" Nadia asked, already grabbing snowballs that they had been hoarding for what felt like hours. The team already had four walls of snow surrounding them, including the snowmen, prepared for anything. They had just come back from a lunch break. Soup, the best thing to have on a snowy day, only fueled their determination. 

Keith snapped his gaze up to the porch. No Lance. He was planning on a sneak attack.

His eyes traveled over to the hill, shrouded with bare trees that only had ice and snow gracing their branches. 

_Snap!_

All three soldiers paused whatever they were doing. They whipped their heads up, only to see the boy standing gloriously at the top of the hill, a sled beneath his foot. 

"It's time, my enemies. You've been trespassing on my lands for far too long!" 

Keith snorted at his acting but went along with it. 

Nadia was the first to reply, her role being the general and all. She made the decisions during the entire process through and through. "We're not trespassers! We only want peace!" 

"Ha! Peace? Why have peace when we can have _war?"_

The student lifted his head from behind the wall, hollering, "Cause it's easier for both parties!" He smirked at Lance's face but _dipped_ when he saw a snowball in his hand. 

"That's it! I attack!" 

Keith was worried for the boy since he _thought_ there were trees in his path, but no. No, no, no, Lance was a _pro._ He must've done it a million times before, knowing the exact angle to sled, and he was coming in fast.

Luckily, he wouldn't hurt anyone because of the layers of protection they built, and Keith knew he wouldn't have ever done it if he knew it would. The snow, he was hoping, would be cushion enough for him. The first thing that made contact with the sled was one of the snowmen. 

"You okay?" Keith asked, totally breaking character. 

But he was only rewarded with a snowball that he somehow _matrixed_ from behind his wall. 

"Don't worry about me, mullet."

"Attack!" Nadia shouted. 

And all Keith could see was white. Snowballs, flying, their breath in the air, the fallen snowmen that died for their country, and the walls were collapsing into the trenches from the "evil monsters" doing. The team was slowly running out of precious ammo, the snow thinning in the center like their chances. All three of them looked at each other, accepting that their first plan was futile. 

"Initiate 'Plan B,'" Keith commanded, the theatrics on point. 

"We can't leave you!" 

"You have to... It's the only way... Just go!"

The two kids, reluctantly, got up and began hopping what was left of the barriers and the trenches to get to the porch. 

"I've won!" Lance announced, adorably covered in snow and ice, raising his hands into the air. Almost as if there was an audience there to applaud him. 

"Not yet."

And Keith threw his final snowball, one that he made from none other than rubble from the city, directly into the boy's chest. "Ugh!" 

The kids gasped, hoping that it would be the final blow, the end of the cold war between both sides. Their hands were on the door handle, ready to venture inside should their uncle attack the soldier lying on the snow. 

But instead, the "monster" fell to his knees, clutching his chest like it was the only thing keeping him alive. "Fine..." he choked out. "Y-you win..."

He finally fell over and onto the remains of the wall, Keith crawling over to hear his last words. "I want peace," Lance whispered, straining his voice to speak. "Peace..."

And that... that was how they won the war that blossomed peace throughout the realm. 

"Wow... so you guys had fun today?" Lisa asked. 

Both Nadia and Silvio nodded their heads, too busy stuffing their faces with food. 

"Well, that's good. Thank you, Keith," she said, smiling at the student from across the table. "For playing with them, and also being attentive with them. They can forget that they might be having too much fun sometimes."

Ah, she meant the cold. Keith shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what else to say other than, "No problem." Of course, Lance was also grinning at him from beside him, like he was silently making fun of him for being all shy again. He was resting his head on his knuckles, which Keith couldn't help but notice were red and a little chapped.

As if sensing his worry, Lance's other hand grasped the students from under the table. "It's fine." 

Those words coming from the boy were like a cure. It was strange how that worked, and it made him think. 

It made him think of how he didn't want Lance to go back after break. 

He knew that he definitely would have to say goodbye. He _had_ to. It would be selfish to say that Lance had to stay for him and wrong on so many different levels. The boy had stuff he wanted to accomplish, things that he had to do with his life that Keith didn't even know of yet. Whatever path he chose, he hoped that Lance was happy with it, and he would let him achieve that happiness no matter what. 

Even if it meant being alone, it would be different. Keith wouldn't be entirely alone, like before. He would have something to look forward to, like spring break with him, and maybe even plans just for the two of them. 

Or, maybe he was going too far? It wasn't like he knew if their relationship would last that long. And he had heard stories from high school about long-distance relationships. None good. 

Not that he expected high schoolers to be experts on that stuff, but it was all the knowledge he had on it. He didn't know the specifics, only that both people didn't trust each other enough in most cases. 

Which, it was very, _very_ difficult not to trust Lance, so that was a plus. 

Sure, it did take him a while to trust the boy in school, even when he started liking him more than what they were. He didn't know everything about him then, and arguing could only get him so far. It was the rare moments that they would have together, just like on that bench in the park, _those_ were the times where Keith could learn more about him. So seldom. 

But there... sitting in his house, surrounded by his family and friends, Keith couldn't have been more sure of Lance and what he wanted. 

* * *

His mother let him stay one more night. Even though they celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve, they still wanted to wait to open presents for the next day. Hunk and Pidge were going to sleepover somewhere else nearby, and Shiro was staying in a hotel. 

Speaking of Shiro... he kept his distance from Keith for the entire day. And the student didn't know why, but it was bothering him. It didn't feel like he was ignoring or avoiding him. But more, waiting. Like he was waiting to talk, or waiting for the right time to, similar to Marco in a way. 

So, what was his deal? 

It was cold all over again. Keith was drawn to the porch, even at night when it was freezing. His eyes trailed over the mess of the yard that he helped create earlier that day. It didn't seem to matter since it looked like it was going to snow overnight, overlaying a new canvas. 

The tranquil sound of wind and his breathing didn't last long since his little island away from people only attracted them all the same. 

"It's cold out," Shiro said, shutting the door behind him. His footsteps were heavy, making his way to another seat on the porch, not next to Keith. It was strange how he knew he needed space. Or maybe that he needed space from him only. 

Either way, he expected nothing less from Shiro. 

The man was also _kind,_ similarly to Lance and his family. Except, kind in a way that Keith identified as _pity._ He felt sorry for Keith, even all those years ago. Perhaps that was why the student rejected him. He didn't want that. 

Especially then, he didn't want it. 

"I know," Keith replied, looking beyond the yard and onto the street, plowed just that morning. "You remember me?" 

"How could I forget?"

"Don't know. Felt like you did." 

The wind was a comforting buffer between the two's silence. It gave both something else to listen to, and it gave both time to think about what to say. 

Shiro was the first. 

"I... I didn't forget, you know?"

"Still... no call. It's fine though."

"There was an accident, Keith..." 

Accident...?

Keith's eyes finally left the street to look over at the man. He was no longer smiling like he was earlier that day. If anything, he looked... determined. He slipped off the glove of his right hand. And that was when Keith realized that he was wearing them all day long, because of what was underneath? 

A prosthetic. 

"My arm. I did a job, and it was like any other. Except, it was stuck, and... anyway, in the end, I couldn't keep it," Shiro explained. "So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't return your calls. I'm sorry that I never visited you, even after I recovered. And I'm sorry that I... I couldn't help you when you needed me to." 

Again, both were silent aside from the icy wind. 

_Selfish._

_You are nothing but selfish._

"You... Shiro. Don't apologize to me. That's- that's not..." 

Where were his words? 

"No, I have to. I didn't expect you to be here, but... now that I have the chance, I want to say that I'm-"

"Don't. You don't have to. I was a stupid kid, and I didn't expect anything."

"Yes, you did. You're only saying that because... because of this," the man said, gesturing to his arm. He leaned closer from his seat, as much as he could. "Even before that job, I should've called."

"Shiro, I didn't tell you that stuff because I wanted anything back. I just wanted to talk. Cause there was no one else, and..." His fucking throat, even in the cold, was swelling. "And that was all. If you want to talk so bad, then can we please talk about something else?"

Why was he getting stressed out over it? 

The man sighed. "Okay... where are you now?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Like what your major is. And what kind of degree you're going for."

"Alright, we can talk about anything but that."

"Why?"

_You don't know._

That pissed him off the most about himself. Why couldn't he ever make decisions? He never knew what he wanted to do, especially when he needed to. 

"I don't want to talk about it." 

"Keith-"

"I said no!" 

The student's clenched fists were practically white. He was _tired,_ tired of talking to him. Was that wrong? Talking about where he was or what he wanted to do was uncomfortable for Keith, and he didn't know _why._ He didn't know anything. 

All he wanted to do was leave, get away from whatever conversation they were having, cause it was pushing him to tears. His cheeks were burning, searing, despite the cold that was supposed to be damn near blistering. But no, he couldn't feel anything but the boiling feeling in his chest. 

"Keith...?" 

The student just stood, ignoring Shiro and making his way off the porch. He didn't want to be hurt, not in front of him. All he needed was to cool down and walk it off. 

Thankfully, the man didn't follow or question him any further. 

All that Keith wanted was to be alone for a short while. 

* * *

Lance had gotten out of the shower, skincare done, and ready to get to bed. He could say he had a great Christmas Eve. It had been so long since everyone that he appreciated was in the same place, of course, distancing as best as they could and using the hand sanitizer as much as possible. 

And Keith... he was so glad to see him having fun all over again. His handsome smile was something that Lance was addicted to, something that he wanted to treasure. It was cheesy, but Lance was a cheesy guy, according to his boyfriend. 

He expected to find him in his bedroom, but surprisingly, to no avail. Even after checking the floor, no sign of Keith. He then went over to the guest bedroom, assuming that he must've been taking a shower after the long day he had. 

Nothing. 

The boy ventured downstairs, checking the bottom floor. 

Nothing. 

Keith said that he would be up in only a minute, and it was _way_ past an hour. He checked everyone's rooms, sparking worry on their part as well, especially when Lance asked them where he could've gone. 

Lance had a bad feeling. Uneasiness grew in the pit of his stomach, like a sinkhole spreading further and further. 

The only place he could check was the porch. He only slipped on his slippers, not even caring about the night cold. Lance could barely even feel it. 

He couldn't feel it because he was panicking. 

Keith wasn't there either. 

He wasn't in the yard. 

Hunk's car was gone, along with Pidge. And Shiro's was also gone. Maybe he went with one of them? But he said he wouldn't leave.

Right?

But, to determine that, he would look at... _footprints._

It was perfect. The snow may have been falling, but the prints were still fresh. A pair led directly towards the street, while others led towards the driveway. 

Interrupting his thoughts, in the distance, he could hear the sounds of sirens. Sirens he hadn't heard before. When did they get so close?

"No... there's no way," he told himself, even as he watched the vehicle speed past his house and down the street. 

Even as he muttered to himself that there could be absolutely no chance of whatever he was thinking, he followed them. His heart was pounding, and he could hear it in his ears. His breathing was rapid, like he ran a mile, but all he was doing was walking. 

Walking...? 

Lance needed to run. 

So he did, the sounds he was chasing growing more and more real, louder and louder. The lights were up ahead, headlights, tail lights, ambulance, he couldn't decipher which from which, all of them blurred together.

That was fine because all he wanted to see was the face. 

He just needed to see their face. 

But he hoped to God that it wasn't the face he was picturing in his mind, that it wasn't the face he was looking for. 

The face... was one he recognized. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're... kind of, back. Thank you for reading this far.


	23. Wake Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A letter for who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading this with his voice in my head pains me.

Hey, Keith. 

It's New Year's Eve. This horrible year is almost over, but everyone knows that it's not really. But I think you knew that too, even though I know you said you were trying to be positive. I wonder after you wake up if you'll think differently about the world. But I loved you the way you were, and whatever you will be. 

Even if you might not remember me... 

The nurse actually recommended that I write this letter. She said no one had to read it. Not even you. But it's already so hard to write, because it's just not you. I've already filled a trashcan with tissues. Maybe she meant it was supposed to help me... 

But, I'm not worried about me. 

Nevertheless, here I am. I wanted to leave it for you just in case you woke up without me there. 

I don't want you to wake up alone... 

I don't know when you will, right now as I'm writing this, but I hope that it will be before I have to go back.

I don't want to go back. At all. 

But my mom said that I didn't have a choice, which makes no sense. I'm eighteen. 

I've called my school to see if I could change my courses to solely online, which they said they could arrange and give me a refund for the classes that I already paid for. 

So, even if I'm not there, don't think that I'm gone till spring break. I'm probably looking for presents and stuff for when you come back to earth. 

You deserve them. 

But, I still feel useless. I can buy you a boatload of gifts, but I can't pay your bills. How does that even make any sense? 

Again, my mom wouldn't let me. 

No one else could pay for it either. I know it was probably selfish to ask them, but... I know you've been through so much. You never told me, but I know. And you're still going through shit. 

But I can't do anything about it, and it sucks. I actually hate myself for it. The fucking gifts won't even matter because you'll be stuck with more loans and debt, and things that I just wish I could take away from you. 

I wish I could do something to keep you from waking up to more problems that you just don't need after coming out of fucking comatose.

But, I'm sitting at home, writing you a letter, cause it's all I can do for you. 

And I already suck at it. I'm supposed to make you feel better after waking up. 

On a more positive note, I went in earlier today to see you. So did Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro. Hunk wants to make you a whole pizza when you wake up, but I don't know if they'll let you eat solid food though. Either way, he's definitely up for the task. Pidge wants to play another game of Mario Kart with you. I said that it wouldn't be fair because you would be a little disoriented once you wake, but she said that was the point. Gremlin. But I know she means well. 

And Shiro. He told me he was the last person you saw before... your accident. And he feels just as shitty as I do. He even cried, saying that he should've stopped you before you left and kept apologizing over and over again. But, I told him, just like _someone_ once told me before, "You didn't know. You couldn't have known..." 

I don't blame him. The universe just has it out for you, Keith, and I don't know why. But if I could stop it, I would. God, I just want you awake again. I miss you so much. 

I'm writing all this, thinking you'll remember me. The doctor said that there might be a loss of memory after coming out of it. But even if you don't remember me, or if it doesn't come back to you right away, just know that I miss you, so much. And I care about you, more than anything. 

I told Veronica that I loved you and... she didn't see it. She said that I was only saying that because you were in a coma. I couldn't believe it. 

Maybe I was dropping the l-bomb a little early in our relationship, but it's _true._

I love you, Keith. 

Right now, I'm contemplating whether or not I should even leave you this. I was sure before, but I think waking up to a love confession and all my problems will be too much. Maybe this is just for me? 

I don't know. 

Maybe I just want to pretend that you're getting an email or something from me. Like everything's fine, you're fine, and everyone else. But that's selfish, isn't it? 

Like I said... I don't know.

I try to stay with you as long as possible whenever I visit, but there are visitor hours... So I can't spend tonight with you. I wish I could, just so you have someone to celebrate the New Year. I don't want you to be alone. Not in that room, not in the hospital, and not ever. It was cold there, so I asked for more blankets before I left. And they turned out the lights. So it was dark too. I asked if they could leave a light on, but they said the hallway was enough. 

I don't want you to be alone in the dark, or the cold. 

I'm finding that this entire letter is about what I don't want. Again, I'm just being fucking selfish. 

I just miss you, mullet. It's only been a few days and I want you to come back. We can talk about whatever. I tried talking to you before since the nurse said that you could hear me. You probably don't remember but I talked about Nadia and Silvio, and how they hope you get better. When I told them that you were sleeping, they cried all night long. They couldn't believe it. They miss you too. They made you a card, and gave you some of their gifts from Christmas. Really, everyone did. 

And if you were awake, you would say that it wasn't necessary. But it is. 

It is. 

It's about to turn midnight, Keith. I hope we have a better year than the last, just like you did. 

I love you.

So just wake up already, mullet. 

Please... wake up. 

_Please._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening to sad lofi while writing this made me burst into tears. My emotions have been shooting through the roof recently.


	24. Eyebrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this chapter cause it was 10:00 PM when I originally wrote it, and I wasn't satisfied. So you can read the changes if you want.

Lance stepped out of the elevator, coffee in hand. Altea, a coffee shop that he preferred over others. The first reason was because the staff was so kind, especially Coran, the best, most fastest brewer in their town. He was always good to talk to since he had a way of making others feel better. And the second reason was that it was cheaper for him, and he rarely ever went out to get coffee when he could simply make it at home. 

But on that day, he felt like he needed to, especially when he saw Allura there as well. 

He stepped to the side after ordering and chatting with Coran. The boy tried to ignore her gaze from across the cafe. It wasn't a harsh stare or anything of the sort. It was more... uncertain. 

Allura made her way over, almost reluctantly, like she was approaching an injured animal on the side of the road. 

"Lance?" 

It wasn't that he hated her. It wasn't that at all. He knew that she was a great friend, someone he could turn to for anything. It was just that it didn't work out the way he wanted it to back then. But then again, it wasn't exactly what he _wanted_ either. He didn't know at the time. Or he wouldn't accept it. Either way, Lance didn't know why he couldn't see where it was headed the second he asked her out to the cafe that they were standing in. It would've saved him from the very conversation that she was trying to have. It would've saved him from what she did. 

"Lance... I heard about Keith." 

"How?" he asked. Not cold, but straightforward enough to sound borderline stern. 

Allura almost looked surprised by his tone, but she didn't comment on it or snap at him for it. She didn't want to. The more he saw the pitying look in her eyes, the more he thought he probably deserved it. 

Whatever happened was in the past, and both moved on from it the night at Hunk's place, so there was no reason for his attitude. 

Was he stressed? 

It was ironic because he only knew the coffee would make it worse. 

"I'm sorry..." he mumbled. 

"No, it's okay. I heard from pretty much everyone around town." 

Lance sighed. That was one of the reasons why he wanted to leave right after graduation. "People here... always in everyone else's business." 

He bet it was his neighbors that spread the news. They were the ones that called for the ambulance, which he was unquestionably grateful. Without them, Keith probably wouldn't be alive. He didn't think of it at the time, but he knew his neighbors were nosy to a degree, a pretty high degree. They were gossipers. Older people who were retired and had plenty of time on their hands to talk. 

They were good people, and he knew that. It was just that he didn't think that everyone and their mother needed to know what was going on with Keith.

"Allura! One expresso on the go," Coran chimed. 

She thanked him, turning back to Lance, hesitant on leaving him. She was always good at hiding those things about her, but Lance could see them crystal clear. He was glad that he still had her as a friend, despite the past. 

"I'll talk to you later," he said, trying to smile behind his mask. "I know he'll be up... he's stubborn like that."

After knowing her for so long, he knew that she could see through everything. But regardless, she returned the smile, her ocean blue eyes showing the complete opposite. 

A bittersweet sadness. 

Lance always had an itch to leave his house every once in a while, even before the accident. But it was only worse afterward. 

Veronica, Rachel, Luis, and Marco all left to get back into their daily grinds. Nadia and Silvio were taking online classes as well, and most days, Lance would help them with their homework or any projects. 

But it would have to be after he came home. 

Lance didn't want to miss a day without visiting Keith. 

Thankfully, he had the time for it. His newly scheduled classes wouldn't start until the end of January, which meant that he had a higher chance of being there for Keith when he woke. The doctor determined it would only take about seven to ten days for him to wake. And it had already been seven... and Lance was worried. 

After Keith's accident, he had constant dreams. Well, nightmares, to be more accurate. It was always the same; walking up to the scene, seeing so many faces, the lights, and the noise surrounding his senses, but he could tell that Keith was lying on the cold hard road. Unmoving. His body looked lifeless. Lance could feel the sense of shock and dread through his system every time he saw it. He thought Keith was _gone._

But he knew those nightmares weren't even nearly as bad as the nightmare Keith was going through. 

He took a long swig from his cup. 

He needed to stop having so much coffee. It only fueled his anxiousness, those dreams, and those long nights of worrying about Keith. Keith, unaware and in the dark about what kind of troubles he had ahead of him. 

As if he needed any more of it. As if the student needed any more problems. 

But Lance was going to help him. He would face those problems head-on with Keith. No matter what. 

He let out a sigh, adjusting his face mask, and making a turn towards Keith's room. He walked past all the other beds.

But he froze in his tracks. 

There was a woman. 

Her eyes were dark, her hair short, and her face... There was no mistaking it. 

She was sitting in a chair next to Keith, just looking at him with a sad, pained look in her eyes. It was how everyone looked when they saw Keith like that. 

In Pidge's words, he was "hooked up," meaning there were so many different tubes and a ventilator to help him breathe. Along with other injuries that were still healing. No one ever wants to see someone like that, especially if they are family. And that woman, _Keith's mother,_ was his family. 

Lance began to walk further into the room. She didn't even seem to acknowledge the boy entering, staring at her son with red, puffy eyes.

She had been there for a while. Her hand was holding Keith's, her thumb absentmindedly rubbing the top of his hand. 

From what Lance could gather, Keith couldn't have been close with his mother. The first reason being that he never talked about her. And the second reason being, there was no way of contacting her, and she arrived seven days late to see her son. But judging from her appearance, if she could've been there sooner, she would've. It was apparent in the lines of her face. 

He wondered how she found out. The gossip around town? Or maybe the hospital found Keith's birth certificate and contact information? It was all he could assume.   
  


He didn’t know...

One of the first things they asked Lance when they rushed Keith into the hospital was if he had any family. 

_"No, I-I don't really know."_

He never got to learn that much about him to tell. He wished he had asked sooner. And if Keith didn't want to talk about it, then that also would've been fine. But he would've at least asked... because of unexpected situations. 

His mother finally lifted her gaze to meet Lance, her expression unchanging. The boy was speechless. He couldn't find his words or what he could say to her at that moment. He didn't know how to give her an explanation that she deserved. She was in pain, and he was afraid of hurting her even more. Did she already know what happened? She must've. Did she want to be left alone? Was Lance intruding? 

But she was the first to speak. 

"You're not a nurse," she said, her voice hoarse. 

"No, I'm not... I'm his boyfriend." Hesitation was evident in his voice. Hesitant because... Lance didn't know what kind of person she was. He didn't know if she was accepting. The boy was grateful that his family was accepting of him- wait. Not even _accepting,_ really, more like they didn't care, just as long as he was happy with himself. They would love him no matter what. But Lance had his fair share of other people that didn't have the same way of thinking, even other family members. 

Still, Keith's mother's expression didn't change in the slightest. She simply nodded her head and carried the conversation.

"I'm glad that he has someone good that's waiting for him," she said. "The nurse told me that you visit every day. Don't you have school?" 

"I do, but it doesn't start until next month. I've already rescheduled some stuff so that I could take online here for this semester." 

"You don't go here?" 

"No, I go to school upstate. Keith goes to school here. Um... But I reported the accident to his university, and they said they'd take care of the classes that he had this year," he explained. "I'm going to have to go back and check with them on that."

"You really care about him," she said. It was barely even noticeable, but he could've sworn that he saw the faintest crinkle of the corners of her eyes. "I'm Krolia, Keith's mother, in case it wasn't already obvious."

"I'm Lance Mcclain."

Well... the boy finally understood how Keith felt when meeting his family. 

He thought Keith was being Keith, but no. It _did_ make Lance feel nervous. He nearly reached over to shake her hand but realized that there was a virus in the world and not to mention they were in a hospital. 

"I know that Keith has probably never talked about me..." she said. 

"No, he hasn't. He's only told me about his dad."

"Oh... Where is he, by the way?" 

What?

"Keith's dad?"

"Yeah, do you know?"

Oh, no... That wasn't what she needed to hear at all. But it wasn't like Lance was going to lie to her. He set down his cup of coffee that he didn't want anymore, shoving his hands into his pockets. He was hesitating but swallowing his thoughts, he finally told her. 

"Keith told me that he passed away."

Her hand stilled. 

"He... He what?"

"He told me that his father passed away," he repeated, voice soft. "I'm sorry..." 

Her expression was something that Lance couldn't ever forget. Shock. Nothing but pure, heartwrenching shock from the news. Her eyes were wide, still processing what she heard. Her hand may have stilled, but so did her breathing. 

"I'm sorry, I just..." She finally let out a shaky breath. "For how long?" 

"Keith told me when he was around twelve."

Lance couldn't imagine what she must've been feeling. She found out, days late, that her son was in a terrible accident, near death, and then in a coma. And to boot, she found out that his father died six years prior.

But... there was this thought in the back of his mind: where was she? 

Not that it was any of Lance's business, but he couldn't help but wonder. Keith had been in the system, no parents, no family, from what he understood. He had been alone. So utterly alone. And to go off the theory that she heard about Keith's accident cause of some gossip was getting kind of hard to believe for Lance. 

It must've been difficult for her to see him. Something was stopping her. Because of what he was witnessing in that hospital room, there was no way that anyone could say that she didn't love him. No way. 

"I knew that he wouldn't even know me and that he would be with his father, but... I-I didn't know that he was alone." 

His heart broke at the sound of her voice. Lance could already feel the swelling in his eyes, hers doing the same. Krolia dabbed her eyes with the tissue she was clutching in her hand, chewing on her lower lip. 

All that she was feeling, she was trying desperately not to show. 

"He was alone... but he won't be. Not anymore," Lance said, similar to a promise. While she disconnected from Keith for what Lance could assume most of his life, it was clear that she still loved and missed her son. 

But, Keith was left wandering and wondering. No explanation. 

Alone. 

"I know..." She whispered it like a broken sigh. A sigh that released all the leftover emotions she was feeling. Tears finally spilled over and trailed down her face, the tissue doing minimal to stop the flow. "I... I wasn't there for him. I wasn't there when he needed me, and I _know."_

Lance began to search for tissues in his backpack. Even through the blurriness of his tears, he could spot the familiar packet that he packed daily. 

But when he handed her the packet from across the bed, something in the corner of his eye moved. He _swore_ it. 

Lance snapped his gaze to Keith and focused ultra-hard on what it was. It probably wasn't necessary, but he needed to know. He needed to see. 

His eyebrows... his fucking _eyebrows were moving!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been in quarantine for so long that I don't even know how people talk anymore.  
> Edit: Changed the chapter a bit.


	25. Mutual Idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes months...

It wasn't like the movies where they wake up, and everything's fine and dandy. Both Lance and Krolia knew that. 

It was a long process, grueling even, for Keith.

But at first, he could respond. 

Lance was consistent, talking to him slowly but like normal. His fists would open and close, slowly, grasping the blankets with the loosest grip. Keith's eyes would move, along with his eyebrows, in response to certain sounds that the boy would make. Of course, he made sure that it wasn't too much stimulation for him. 

Then he went into a more consistent stage. 

He was confused. Keith was very, _very_ confused. 

Honestly, who wouldn't be? Waking up not remembering anything sounded terrifying to Lance. Not to mention, there was practically a tube stuck down his throat, which could also be traumatizing for anyone. 

While being in a coma was Keith's first battle, the war was getting back on track. First, it was getting him off the ventilator. They restrained him, so he couldn't pull it out himself, even though Lance could tell he desperately wanted to. Sometimes he seemed frustrated or agitated. But eventually, they weaned him off of it. Keith passed all the trials, and he finally got it removed and could breathe on his own. He would still try to pull on different tubes, annoyed, so they kept him restrained. 

The next part was if he could speak properly, which at first were murmurs. They were soft, and Lance had to strain his ears to hear him properly. Most of what he was saying were questions from what the boy could decipher, but each time he tried to answer them, Keith would fall back into darkness or ask him all over again. 

"...Where am I...?"

"...What happened...?"

"...Who are you...?"

It was all in the same order, each time. And sometimes, Keith would believe that he couldn't have been in an accident and that there was no way. Lance would try to tell him where he was and why he was there, but eventually, he got a sign for Keith for all the questions he would repeat. But he would still talk to him regularly and answer his questions, giving him plenty of breaks and rest as well.

He just needed more time. 

Speaking of time, he began to ask for the date or what day it was. 

The nurse gave Lance a calendar, which was another thing that would help Keith remember since it was more difficult for him. He would mark off each day that passed and keep it in Keith's field of vision. 

Krolia, Keith's mother, was still dealing with the news about Keith's father. She may not have shown it, but Lance knew. Even though she had an expressionless veil, he could still see the pain in her eyes. Krolia was similar to Keith in that way. 

Lance... He may have wanted to know more about her and how she found out about Keith, but he still felt like she didn't want to talk about it and that it wasn't his business. He didn't want to bring up painful questions that she was waiting for Keith to ask. 

There were many times where Lance asked if she wanted to be left alone with him, but she always said no. She was waiting. Waiting even longer... 

The rest of the month flew by before Lance knew it, and he had to start his classes. He decided to take two courses that semester which were not too much and not too little. Sometimes he would work at the hospital, and sometimes he would work at home. It all depended on the assignment. 

But when he was staying at home doing his work, he found that the sounds of machines and the nurse's footsteps were... almost comforting in a way. He wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. It was strange because Lance never exactly liked hospitals. They always reminded him of death. He had many memories of family members and friends passing away in the ICU, which probably contributed to his worry for Keith. 

But, watching him progress every single day changed something. Each day Keith would get just a little bit better. It was a gradual process, something that took time, but Keith was improving. And he couldn't have been happier. 

Keith remembered him. One day, Lance was typing away on his laptop in his lap next to Keith's bed, his brows pinched together from focus. But every few minutes, he would look up, just a glance to see if Keith was awake from his resting period. Which he was.

He was simply staring at Lance with his "thinking face." It wasn't unusual for him to do that, and if anything, it commonly meant he wanted to say something. The boy took off his glasses, smiling at him like he always did when he woke, even though Keith couldn't necessarily see it.

Lance was unprepared for what he would say. 

"I love you too."

It was so out of the blue. It was the first time that it wasn't a question. He wasn't looking at him like he was a stranger, and he wasn't looking at him with fear. Keith didn't sound confused either. It was as if he was unquestionably aware of what he was saying despite looking so tired. 

At first, Lance couldn't believe what he heard. At the end of each day, he would say those three words to Keith, so he thought that he might've just been repeating them since the doctor said that was normal. But he didn't want to believe that. 

He must've remembered.

"I love you..." he said again, just a little louder. As if Lance didn't catch it the first time. "...I thought that we were mutual idiots."

How could Lance ever forget that? 

He was so _happy._ Just that single emotion was all he could feel and all he knew. But it was unbelievably overwhelming that all of it began to spill over and trail down his cheeks, a trembling but sincere smile behind his mask. 

But that didn't matter... 

"I love you too." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School has been hitting hard.


	26. Remember Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hm...

Keith was already pretty frustrated that no matter how long he would rest, he still felt drained. It was more than likely because he just woke up from a coma. But he also thought that it was because of the hospital too. 

It wasn't like he had a problem with doctors, nurses, or all the other appointments he had lined up. He was grateful to be alive and in their care. They were some of the best people he ever had the honor of meeting. With the virus still being a concern, he knew that they were working their asses off. 

They were real heroes at work. 

But, Keith wanted to get discharged, and most patients did after they'd been there for so long. While he was feeling and getting a little bit better every day, he still wanted to step only a foot outside of the hospital if he could. But he knew that that was impossible. With the virus, it would be strange to let someone in the ICU walk around outside with people coming and going. 

He knew that. 

But he wanted to go somewhere with Lance... 

There was a small part of him that felt guilty for not remembering him. How could his mind forget the one person that he liked for so long? 

No. It wasn't "like" anymore. 

_Love._

It just came back one day. Keith knew that there was something about the boy before and that he cared about him. He visited every day, after all. But, Keith didn't know if it was just him being himself, but sometimes he felt afraid. 

Who was he? 

Why couldn't he remember him? 

Why did he love him?

Lance said he loved him every night, but only when Keith was asleep. Of course, there were plenty of times he was awake, and on those nights, he would try to recollect about the boy. Those fits of thinking only lasted so long before his attention was elsewhere, naturally because of the accident. 

But Lance would always come back, and he would be a mystery.

So was his voice. 

_"I love you, Keith..."_

When he was looking at him, or rather, observing, he took in every aspect of him. From the eyes behind his glasses to the curls of his hair. Even to the fingers that were clacking away. 

Voice... Always trying to gain Keith's awareness. 

Eyes... They were the first thing he saw.

Hair... It was a little long, but Keith thought it looked nice. 

Fingers... They moved with ease and intent. 

Keith didn't want to forget. His span of attention could only last so long. 

So he repeated.

Voice, eyes, hair, fingers. 

Voice, eyes, hair, fingers.

Voice... Eyes... Hair... Fingers... 

For the first time after his coma, something came out of his mouth that he didn't mull over in his head. He didn't feel like he needed to. Every passing day, there would be this sad look in his ocean blue eyes, in his posture, even in his voice. What he did need was to say what that boy needed to hear. 

He glanced from his computer, doing a double-take when he realized Keith was staring at him. Lance took off his glasses, and Keith could see the smile behind his mask. He could see something that he remembered wanting to see for so long. His lips, the car, the steering wheel, and every other picture went by gradually in his mind, growing and building off the other. 

How could he forget him?

"I love you too."

At first, nothing. Keith could tell that he was processing his words. It was another thing that he relearned about Lance but already knew deep down. Was it too early? How could it be when Lance felt the same way?

So... Again. 

"I love you..." Just a little bit louder. "...I thought that we were mutual idiots."

He didn't expect the boy to break down in tears, but thank goodness they were happy ones. 

"I love you too." The boy set his laptop and glasses aside so he could scooch his chair closer to Keith. He wiped his eyes with the back of his sweater sleeve, sniffling as he got situated back in his seat. He was practically beaming, and the student thought he was beautiful. 

The mask didn't hide his smile anymore. Keith could see it plain as day. 

Lance took Keith's hand and lifted it, caressing his cheek, not that Keith needed guidance to do that. 

"I promised I bleached my hands before..." Lance jokingly said. "I just missed you."

"You missed me?" 

"You sound surprised."

"No, I'm just... I missed you too. Even though I might not have remembered you for a while." 

"I'm just glad you do now... Do you remember what happened?" 

Keith shook his head. "Not yet... But I know that you do. How did you know I was in the hospital anyway?" 

The boy simply held his hand then, staring down into each crease that it made. "I was looking for you, but you weren't in the house. So I went outside and saw the footprints you left behind. I went after you and... there you were." 

His voice was small and fragile, and Keith felt horrible. He was in a pretty bad state at that time, from what the doctors told him, so he couldn't imagine walking up and seeing Lance in the same way. On the ground, hurt, bleeding, and not responding... 

"I'm so sorry."

The boy looked up from his hand, his face twisted with confusion. "Don't apologize. You got in an _accident,_ Keith."

"I know, and that's what I mean... I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left-"

"Stop. You did nothing wrong." 

While what happened before the accident was a little fuzzy, he could remember why he initially left the house. And the facts were still there. If he didn't get upset, then he wouldn't have left. And if he didn't do that, then he wouldn't have been walking down the street. 

Wait. 

There was a sidewalk. Keith could see himself walking, damn near stomping because he was all hot and bothered. He could hear every footstep he made from the freshly poured salt crunching beneath his shoes.

The icy breeze penetrated his clothes with ease, but he didn't care. The snow fell and landed softly in his hair and stuck to his clothes, granting more of the bitter cold. He wanted to go somewhere, anywhere, just to get away from Shiro. 

Was it really Shiro? 

It didn't feel like it was. Then perhaps, it was Keith's problems. The problems that he couldn't even face. Maybe it was karma, in a way? 

Even if it was, he didn't see how he could've gotten off the sidewalk at all. The only way was straight ahead, straight into Lance's neighborhood. 

It was dark aside from the other houses and their front porch lights. Despite it being so dark, Keith's breath in the air was clear. Panting, when he only walked for a few minutes. 

He stopped. 

What was he even doing? 

Why couldn't he just turn around and face them? 

_Face them._

_Turn around, and face them._

Another set of footsteps. 

He was kind of hoping it was Lance, running after him to tell him how cold it was and that his gloves were useless. But on the other hand, he didn't want the boy to get sick chasing after him. 

"Chasing after an idiot..." Keith muttered to himself. 

Even so, the footsteps blended in with the sound of an oncoming car. Keith thought it was silly because it certainly did remind him of the highway they were on before. He was so mad at him. It wasn’t just because he left the car without considering the speeding cars right next to them, but also because Keith didn’t listen. He didn’t hear him out.   
  


Another thing that he was eager to fix.

He sighed, taking in a breath of fresh, crisp air, and he finally turned around. 

_Face them._

After all, what was there to be afraid of? He would figure everything out with Lance, and being with him was the beginning of something. A new start. A new path. 

He knew what he wanted. 

Keith knew what he wanted most. The face he pictured in his mind was all he saw, and the need to share what he wanted only grew.

But the face that he saw was undefined. It was the opposite of what it was supposed to be. It was faceless. It was blurry, no name to pair it. Despite not having any features to go off... Keith felt that it was colder than the ice that surrounded them. 

A push...

A push and some timing was all it took. 

The headlights were the only thing that shined upon their blank, heartless profile. But in a split second, it was black.

"Keith? Keith, can you hear me?" 

He could, but he couldn't comprehend. Fuzzy in his ears, and just _too much._ Too much all at once, and he couldn't grasp it all. And shrouded in darkness, it was that someone _pushed him_ that made him that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keef.


	27. A Different Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A different Lance...

At first, Lance thought that he should go to the police. 

_Bam!_

But then, he asked himself... 

_Bam! Bam!_

Why do that when he can deal with them on his own?

_Bam! Bam! Bam!_

"Geez, shut uuuuup! I'm coming."

There were chips of paint falling onto the wooden deck of his neighbors house from how hard he was knocking. He tried being polite at first with a simple knock, Lance promised... Until he was losing his patience. 

Patience that was already thinner than the chips at his feet. The cold did nothing to cool his temper. His blood was _boiling_ at the thought of meeting the person who hit Keith. The person who _said_ that he was crossing the street at the time. The person who _said_ it was an accident and didn't mention anyone else at the scene. There was no way that he didn’t see _anything._

When he saw the man at the scene, there was already a natural resentment towards him for hurting someone he loved. But later on, Lance was busy trying to accept the fact that it indeed was an accident. 

But it fucking wasn't. 

That particular neighbor Lance had never talked to before, but he had seen him around. He wasn't an older resident, more middle-aged. The man lived alone, it seemed, as Lance glanced over to his driveway. One car. The dent from the accident was still there, a glaring memory that Lance didn't want to reminisce. He lived in a smaller house than the rest of the neighborhood. Not only that, but he was taking a century and a half to answer the door. 

Honestly, he was glad he lived alone. 

It finally opened, only a crack so the man could see who it was. Of course, he wasn't wearing a mask, not that Lance expected him to have one nearby for _obvious_ reasons. 

His eye looked the boy up and down, almost as if he was suspicious of him. But then something changed, a flash of realization in his weary-looking eye. "Oh... It's _you."_

He almost sounded... disgusted. 

_Patience, Lance, patience..._

The boy had words that were extremely difficult to swallow. Even so, he tried to keep on remembering why he was primarily there. 

To get answers.

"Can I-"

And the door was shutting. 

_BAM!_

But Lance wouldn't let that happen. His open palm slammed against the wood. The boy's foot stomped itself into place before the man could do the deed. He didn't feel _anything_ when the man attempted over and over again. 

He was getting pissed, grunting at each try, with the boy internally laughing at his useless strength. Lance _did_ offer him an easy pass, but he refused to take it. 

"What the fuck, kid? Get the fuck off my property before I kick your-"

His foot slid away, only for a split second so that he could kick the door open with all the force that he had. 

_BOOM!_

The man howled in pain from the door slamming against his toes. 

"Sir. I've done taekwondo, soccer, and track all my life. I haven't been slacking from quarantine either. From the looks of it, I don't think you can say the same. Now..." Lance said, entering the house. "...Why don't you tell me why you lied?" 

His neighbor groaned one last time before glaring at him. "I don't need to tell _someone like you_ anything."

So that was how it was going to be... Either way, Lance had to get answers no matter what. 

"You put someone in the _hospital._ And you _lied_ about what happened.”

"I don't give a sh-"

Okay, _patience was officially gone._ The boy grabbed the collar of his shirt, and thankfully, he was wearing gloves so that he wouldn't physically touch the scum. 

"Clearly, you have no empathy, so what _else_ can make you talk?"

"Fuck you." His fist made direct contact with Lance's stomach, knocking some air out of him. Then the man's knuckles struck his cheek. 

That was the first real blow that Lance had ever truly felt. 

That was the first time that he was in a _real_ fight. 

But it was also the first time he knew what his actions would cost and how much he didn't fucking care. The adrenalin was pumping throughout his entire body, the pain not even settling in. He could understand how Keith felt in those moments. It was a total rush. 

But he didn't enjoy it. 

He didn't _want_ to hurt him (even though he was asking for it). Cause he knew those hits would hurt later on, for him, that is. Not to mention Keith would be so fucking worried about him. 

He knew that he told him back then not to care what others thought or what they said, that it was better to ignore them cause he would be better than them overall. 

But... that was so difficult to remember in the moment. 

The boy shoved him even further into the house and kicked his feet from under him so he could fall onto his back, _hard_ with a loud _bang._ Lance could feel his fingers, his wrist tighten into a ball, his heart thumping and ready for more of a fight. He reeled his arm back, ready to return the man's favor, and then-

"Stop, stop, STOP! I'll tell you! _Please,_ I'll tell you!" 

Lance paused, literally froze on the spot. 

"Then fucking talk."

"Okay, okay!" he said, his hands shielding his face. "I was coming home from work that night, and I took my eyes off the road for one second to see my phone. Th-then he was there..." 

Lance's grip on his shirt clenched even harder. _"And?"_

"And I swear it was an accident, okay? I-I got out of the car, and there was... this person that was running away. I tried to call out to him, and I even ran after him, but he was long gone, even before the neighbors got outside." 

"So you knew he fucking pushed him, but you didn't say _anything?_ You're lying!"

"No! Okay, okay, he had a knife, he had a knife! What was I supposed to do?! Not listen to the guy who had a _knife?"_

"Why should I believe you? You had no problem lying before."

"Please, I-I have a camera. In my car, on my dash. I can _show_ you."

So, he did. Lance followed him, his fists already balled up just in case he would try anything. But honestly, the man was a coward. He didn't feel like he was a threat aside from being an irresponsible driver that should never be able to drive again. At the very least, he heard that his license got suspended, but Keith was wondering if he should file for a lawsuit. Ultimately, it was his decision, but Lance hoped that he would get some kind of compensation from the coward. 

But he did know that their fight would be talked about in court if that was the case. It would be as a means of defending himself. 

Whatever... He would get his.

He took the camera off his dash and handed it to Lance. "Just take it. Please..." 

"I hope you never forget what you did. Knife or not, you should've told _somebody._ He could've been _murdered._ And I hope you live with that guilt for the rest of your life." He snatched it away from him, the man flinching and looking just as guilty as Lance wanted him to be. 

Was it too harsh? 

Nah. Lance didn't think so. 

He thought it was pretty valid. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza. Thank you for your comments, by the way. 💞


	28. Don't Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keef be stressed and worried.

What did Keith do? 

It was the next day, the morning, and Keith was pretty groggy like usual. It took him a few minutes to remember what he told Lance the day prior. 

So, it turned out that someone pushed him.

But why? 

Keith couldn't think of anyone who would intentionally hurt him. He did have problems with other kids in school, but none seemed like the type to try and kill the student. For most of them, it was just petty drama, and they moved on fairly quickly. 

But there was also the fact that he didn't _really_ know them. 

He didn't know anyone as much as he knew Lance. 

And Lance... He was shocked at what he told him. Keith could tell that he wanted to ask so many questions, but he wouldn't. He didn't want to push Keith any further. At the time, his memories came back much quicker than usual. And Keith wasn't exactly sure how to digest the information. 

Usually, Lance would be sitting in the chair, typing away until Keith finally woke up. Not that he had to and not that Keith expected him to be there for him all the time, it was just something he noticed. He knew that he must've been busy with school, which Keith knew was stressful enough, and to also deal with visiting the hospital every single day was only an addition to it. 

He didn't know how Lance was handling everything on his own... Keith asked, and the boy kept on saying that it was okay. 

But was it? 

"I don't know..." Keith sighed to himself. 

"Talking to yourself again?" 

The student jumped a little, turning his head towards the entrance of the room. It was only Lance. 

He was glad it was... If someone tried to kill him and found out that they failed, would they come back to finish the job? 

He must've been overthinking it all. Maybe it was just a one-time thing, and it was someone that he didn't know or ever met before. But it was still an unsettling reality to know that someone could do something like that. Sure, Keith was a pessimist about particular things, and he knew not to put his trust in strangers unless he _actually_ knew them. Not until he was sure. But the accident opened his eyes to something that he thought would never happen to him. 

It was different. 

People think it won't happen until it does... when they least expect it. 

Keith didn't tell anyone other than Lance, and it only hit him then.

What if something happened to him?

Again, Keith might've been overthinking. But if the person did know him, then would they know Lance too? They were in his neighborhood, after all.

If that was the case, then Keith wanted to be the only target for whoever they were. He didn't want anyone dragged into more of his problems. The night before, Keith decided to tell the police. He couldn't sleep knowing that someone like that was out there, probably hoping that they got the job done. The student hoped that they would give out a warning to the neighborhood or nearby areas. 

"Keith?"

But first, he needed to tell Lance. The boy shrugged off his backpack and sat in the chair next to his bed, wearing a look of concern, and... he was wearing a mask. But something was... 

Keith sat up and rubbed his eyes, squinting. 

"What is that?"

Lance frowned, looked behind him out the window real quick, then turned back. "Something outside?"

The student shook his head. "No, what is _that?"_

The student leaned over and pulled Lance closer. His thumb tried to unhook his mask. 

"Wait, I-"

"I don't care," Keith said, slipping it off. 

He was right. He was, _unfortunately,_ right. Keith saw the purplish edge of a bruise peeking from behind the fabric, but he couldn't have been more surprised to see how huge it was. 

And he knew where it was from because he had that kind all the time in the past. 

But first, was he alright? 

"Are you okay? Does it hurt? Is there anywhere else-"

"I'm fine, I swear. My mom already checked a million times."

Was Keith right? Did _they_ hurt him?

"What happened?" 

"Nothing. I just got into a little tiff." 

He was so obvious whenever he lied. The boy did it back in high school, only a few times. He averted his eyes, shook his head, and his fingers would fidget with something. Similar to when he got nervous about stuff, but it was easy to decipher. Lance wore his emotions on his sleeve. Sometimes... not all the time.

"No, don't do that. _What happened?_ Tell me, please."

He was hesitant, but he gave in. 

"I... I went to see the person who hit you..." he answered. "I wanted to see if he saw anything that night and why he lied about it."

Keith couldn't comprehend at first. 

"You went to someone... who could've been _involved?"_

Did he not see how dangerous that was? 

"Well, yeah? I went yesterday." 

"You also went _at night?"_

"I just went there to ask a few questions."

Keith sighed. He wasn't mad at him, it was just... he was hurt and could've gotten hurt _so_ much worse. They didn't know who was in cahoots with who, but Keith would've thought it was a good indicator that the person who _ran him over_ and the person who _pushed him_ might've had some kind of connection. 

And even if they weren't, it still didn't excuse the fact that they were both shady. Very fucking shady. 

So, he changed his mind. He was a little mad. In the worst-case scenario, Lance could've been gone... 

"But, why didn't you tell me?" 

"Tell you what?" 

"Why didn't you tell me that you were going off to talk to a complete stranger who could've been a part of an attempted murder?" 

"Well... now I don't know why." 

Keith exhaled once again, trying to get rid of the tone that was beginning to manifest in his voice. He wasn't ignoring the fact that he was upset cause he was, only a little bit. Keith was finding a way to express it properly. Though, he knew that Lance could see some of it... 

"I'm mad because you didn't know who he was. Because you didn't tell me or anyone, because the asshole hurt you, and because you could've been gone." 

"Keith, I don't think that I could've been-"

"No! You don't get it. If someone can push me into an oncoming car that easily, do you think they would hesitate with you? At all?" he asked. "And you knew this- this other guy lied, so why would you think that meant that you should've visited him alone, at night, without telling _anyone?"_

Fuck, that was too harsh. Wasn't it? 

Was Keith overthinking? 

Moments passed, and no response. The only thing that Keith could read was his expression of guilt, which Keith didn't want. He didn't want him to feel bad about what he did. He just wanted to tell him that what he did was dangerous and that he should talk to him before making those kinds of decisions. 

But... was that overstepping? Was that too much? 

He didn't need to ask for permission to do anything.

God, Keith didn't know, and he didn't know how to express himself with those kinds of emotions without blowing up at someone else about them. Why couldn't he just say it without his... _tone?_

"I'm sorry..." the boy finally said, his voice fragile. "You're right. I didn't think about that... But I should've." 

At that point, Keith's heart was practically shattering to pieces. 

They yelled at each other all the time back then, telling each other how stupid the other could be at times. But it was different. It was _heavier._ The hum of machines in the room seemed so much louder to Keith. Nothing else but that in the room, and it was painful. 

"I didn't mean to say it the way I did, it's just... In only a _second,_ things can change," he explained. He could already feel his breath stutter, his heart rate picking up at the thought of crying. "I-I knew that people could go any time, I mean... I had my dad until I didn't. But, it still feels different. _More real._ And it's more real to know that I have someone I love. And someone I don't want to ever leave." 

Lance's hands came up to his, cradling them against his cheek. His eyes were also puffy with tears. 

"You don't want me to leave either..." the boy whispered. "I-I know, and I didn't think, and-" 

"No, don't apologize," Keith said, pulling him closer, into a hug. Well past tears, his bottom lip continued to tremble. "Just please, talk to me next time, okay?" 

"Okay..."

And they stayed like that, for a long while. For so long, that the nurse was ready to check in with Keith for the morning. But it seemed like she wanted to give them more time and respectively walked away. Keith would have to thank her later on. 

But, for then... 

"So..." Keith started. "The guy ran me over _and_ punched my boyfriend. Seem's like he wants the death sentence." 

Lance huffed a small laugh against Keith's chest. 

Keith wasn't kidding, but okay.

"Heh, it wasn't that bad. You don't have to worry about him." 

"It's pretty difficult to ignore it." 

It pissed him off just thinking that anyone would hurt _Lance._ He was kind, gentle, funny, and a fucking gem, so Keith was already plotting. 

"I could handle myself!" 

"I mean, I know you can... But what happened?" 

"He hit me a couple times-" 

_"Couple?"_

"Yeah. I knocked him off his ass, and he told me what I was looking for. He was scared of me."

Keith's fingers gently turned his face so he could see the bruise. He had a thought... He leaned in and just barely brushed his lips against the area. It was feather-light, and it only lasted for a split second before he pulled away. 

He _really_ had to get better to fulfill his ongoing plan to get revenge. 

Surprisingly, Keith was immediately yanked back in, except it was Lance's mouth on his. Warm, soft, and familiar, and all Keith wanted was to part his lips further and deepen it. He wanted to be in that world they were in before. A world that didn't have hospital bills, student debt, lawsuits, horrible people, or anxiety. 

Just them, in their universe, their lips gliding together in sync, and what Keith also wanted, if he could afford to be any more selfish than he already was, was-

"Whoaaaaa, turn back around, Hunk, they're in the middle of their thing-"

"Pidge, get out of the room! It's only supposed to be one visitor at a time."

-was... something that wouldn't happen for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has midterms, I wish you the best of luck! And thank you for reading so far.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this. I hope we have a better year than the last.


End file.
